The pictures this month are 100% artificial intelligence. They are a tool to keep me on track as I continue the process of publishing Awakening. I also thought that these AI images were quite appropriate as we take a walk through Pride Month.
Greetings: May was a tough month for me. My experience with Uber was frustrating, and issues with my car set me back significantly. On a positive note, I began working at Walmart, which has been an adjustment. I also made significant progress on my novel project and expect to complete it by June. Overall, May was a bittersweet month, and I hope that calmer times are ahead.
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Or you can visit May, 2026
Time to jump to July, 2026
June 01, 2026
New month, same story.........
Today marked the end of my grueling six-day work stretch, and I can hardly contain my anticipation for the two days of freedom that lie ahead. Being the first of the month, Walmart was an absolute whirlwind of activity. Customers flowed in like a steady tide, creating a lively yet chaotic atmosphere. The front-end staff, despite their best efforts, were visibly strained, grappling with the challenge of maintaining order amidst the bustling crowd.
Compounding the chaos were recent changes to the government payment systems, which had disrupted the availability of several popular items. This alteration led to growing frustration among customers, sparking heated exchanges as they contended with the newfound limitations. Yet, in the face of this turbulence, there was little we could do; it was a situation that required acceptance and adaptability from everyone involved.
Nevertheless, I was proud of how our team managed to keep operations moving swiftly despite the disarray. There was a sense of camaraderie in the air as we navigated through the challenges together, a testament to our dedication. However, one significant issue looms over us: waste. The management team, along with the front-end staff and myself, are diligently exploring ways to tackle this ongoing problem. It's clear that addressing waste will necessitate some substantial changes, and while it promises to be a long journey, I remain hopeful that we can make progress together.
Here we go....
This is Pride Month, a time of vibrant celebration and fierce advocacy, and I refuse to allow the political landscape in Washington to dictate how I feel about it. Pride is not just a fleeting moment; it's a powerful connection that transcends boundaries. I proudly support everyone in my life; my straight friends who stand by me, my gay friends who share their joys and struggles, my lesbian friends who embody strength, my transgender friends who inspire courage, and those who are still navigating their identity. Your politics or religion hold little sway in my heart; what truly matters to me is the respect and kindness you show toward your fellow human beings.
In a world often plagued by negativity, we have a choice. Instead of dragging others down or weighing them with our judgments, why not extend a hand and lift them up? That, to me, is the essence of being human. So let's embrace our differences, fly our flags with pride, live our truths, and allow others the same freedom.
On the very first day of this month, a moment unfolded that I want to share. As I worked my shift at Walmart, diligently keeping an eye out for any dishonest behavior, two young women approached the checkout line beside me. One of them was tall and lanky, radiating a goth aesthetic with her bold boots and confident demeanor, while her partner was shorter, carrying a fuller figure with a closely cropped haircut. They were an intriguing and mismatched pair that instantly caught my attention.
At first, I was lost in my thoughts and observational duties, not really registering their presence until they turned their focus on me. I could imagine how my tall, bald appearance might have led them to perceive me as a representative of "MAGA America." It was clear they were bracing for a confrontation. The taller woman boldly declared, loudly enough for those nearby to hear, that she was certain I disapproved of her and her girlfriend. Her voice was charged with defiance, as she aimed to challenge my views on Pride Month, expecting an argument to ensue.
In that moment, I simply smiled, choosing to respond with calmness. I said that it's easy to misjudge someone based on appearances. I felt a sense of pride in my ability to de-escalate the situation; they were keen for a fight, but I was resolute in my refusal to engage in hostility. After that exchange, the rest of my day continued smoothly, without any further interruptions.
Now, I'm on an exhilarating journey of my own as I approach the final pages of my novel, just about 50 pages away from completing it. The thought of publishing fills me with anticipation, though I still haven't fully decided on the path I'll take. I have some work ahead of me, particularly with the cover art and transforming my manuscript from Microsoft Word to the appropriate publication format. Currently, the manuscript sits at around 115,000 words; approximately 15,000 words beyond the typical length for adult fiction. However, since it comfortably falls within the science fiction and fantasy genres, I'm contemplating leaving it as is for a robust paperback edition.
The finish line is in sight, and I can hardly contain my excitement! Even more thrilling, I have the luxury of the next two days off. I'm looking forward to a delightful mix of relaxation and catching up on some chores around the house, all with the satisfaction of being so close to achieving a long-held dream.
June 02, 2026
Something good sometimes happens.........
It seems like they've been navigating a challenging period recently. Faced with the steep costs of car repairs, I made the decision to take a job at Walmart, which led me to significantly cut back on my rideshare work. Initially, I viewed this transition as a setback, but over the past week or so, I've noticed that rideshare opportunities in the Memphis area have been almost non-existent. Each time I attempted to log in, I was met with a wave of frustration and disappointment. This lack of availability wasn't completely surprising, as rideshare companies often experience fluctuations in driver demand, leading to periods where the roads are saturated with new drivers.
However, I've learned that every cloud has a silver lining. Recently, I had work done on my car, focusing on the front and rear ends. Unfortunately, something went awry during the process. Today, I took my vehicle to Firestone for a comprehensive inspection, and their thorough examination revealed the problem: the rear axle had been inadequately tightened during its installation. The skilled technicians made necessary modifications and tightened numerous bolts, though a few stubborn ones remained loose. I will need to schedule another visit to Kia, where the original axle work was done, but that can wait until my next day off. For the time being, my car is operational, allowing me to return to work. The pleasant surprise was that today's repairs only set me back $11, making it the most affordable service I've ever received at Firestone.
In addition, I had a conversation with George, one of the seasoned Uber drivers. He informed me that the lull in rider demand appears to be lifting. This fluctuation often occurs during periods of intense hiring, as many newly onboarded drivers quickly discover that rideshare driving isn't the right fit for them. In fact, approximately 84% of the drivers who were recently recruited have already dropped out. With this news, I'm optimistic about returning to work on Thursday. I should be able to establish a new routine that incorporates both my responsibilities at Walmart and my rideshare driving, balancing them effectively.
Interesting developments....
Lately, I've found myself navigating a streak of unfortunate circumstances, which has resulted in some incredibly frustrating encounters with the world around me, leaving me riddled with doubts and uncertainties. However, today felt like a turning point in that relentless tide of bad luck. I began my day with a trip to Firestone, a place where, as I've mentioned before, I usually leave with a wallet considerably lighter than I'd hope, regardless of how minor the issue seems. Today, though, was a refreshing change; this time, the experience unfolded more favorably than I could have anticipated.
That unexpected stroke of luck was just the beginning of my day's surprises. Later on, I found myself at the doctor's office for my biannual examination. Typically, these appointments are straightforward and devoid of surprises, but today proved to be an exception. Recently, I purchased two new pairs of pants, which fit me well enough at the time, but over the past couple of months, I hadn't noticed how loose they had become. I tightened my belt and thought little of it until my appointment forced me to confront a startling reality: I had lost eight full pant sizes and dropped twenty pounds. It's astonishing what can pass unnoticed during the whirlwind of daily life.
While I was at the office, I took the initiative to undergo a cognitive test, prompted by some minor memory lapses I had been experiencing lately. It's always prudent to address these concerns head-on. Fortunately, the results of the cognitive test came back clear, reassuring me, while the nurse practitioner suggested that my memory issues might be tied to all the changes in my life and the shifts in how I engage my mind. She gently recommended that if my worries persisted, I might consider seeking therapy as a way to process everything. My wife, always supportive, had already gathered some resources for me, and I intend to set up that appointment soon. The great aspect of such treatment is that, should I find it unhelpful, I can simply walk away without consequence.
After finishing up at the doctor's office, I swung by Goodwill with the hope of finding jeans that would fit my new size. As I browsed through the racks, I spotted one suitable pair in the men's section. In stark contrast, I found nearly four dozen pairs in the women's section. While I wasn't quite ready to commit to women's jeans just yet, I acknowledged my willingness to explore this option more thoroughly. I have no reservations about wearing women's clothing, even if some might find it unconventional. I struggle to understand the stigma often tied to diverse styles; after all, I'm comfortable in heels, so trying on women's pants shouldn't be a hurdle for me. This open-mindedness is something I'm eager to delve into within myself.
Once my errands were complete, I headed home. The previous night had been restless, marked by a creeping anxiety attack whose origins I couldn't quite identify. I managed a mere two hours of sleep; a struggle I hadn't faced in a long time; yet unexpectedly, I persevered through the day without hitting an energy wall. I pushed through, accomplishing quite a bit; I managed to mow both the front and backyards and even cleaned the pool. There's still some weed-whacking on my to-do list for tomorrow, but I was pleased with the progress I made today. The end of the hard work included a refreshing exfoliation shower, something that I have come to enjoy.
Looking ahead to tomorrow, my plans include dropping off recycling at the center, fueling up my car, and making a stop at Rack Room Shoes to pick up a new pair of work shoes. I love my trusty sneakers; they offer a cozy fit; but they simply aren't built for standing on my feet for long hours at a stretch.
I wrapped up my day with a bit of nostalgic entertainment, watching the 1970s thriller *The Stepford Wives*, drawn in by its unusual premise. As exhaustion settled in around the time the credits rolled, I found myself drifting off to sleep, content after a day filled with unexpected moments and new realizations.
June 03, 2026
I love those easy days.........
Today, the easiest part of my work pleasantly surprised me: I didn't actually have to do any real tasks. My only responsibility was to meticulously review my upcoming schedule, which, to be honest, feels a bit daunting.
As I glanced at my calendar, I noted my regular shifts looming ahead; Thursday and Friday, which usually feel like a sprint to the weekend. Then, on Saturday morning, I have an early shift starting at 9:00 AM. Curiously, Sunday is a day off for me this week, but the reason behind it remains a mystery.
Following that brief respite, I'm scheduled to work for four consecutive days, which will undoubtedly test my endurance. Finally, I'll get another day off on the following Friday, a glimmer of hope after a challenging week. Once I push through this hectic stretch, I anticipate my routine will settle back into its familiar rhythm, but for now, I brace myself for the tough days ahead.
Stuff, and things....
After a long period of rest, I finally feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle life's challenges once more. Yesterday was productive, as I crossed off several household chores, allowing me to dedicate today to some of my more exciting projects. Following a bit of cherished family time, I felt the urge to dive into my tasks with enthusiasm.
I set off to run errands, but my solo mission quickly transformed into a delightful duo when Laura decided to join me. Our first stop was the recycling center, where we efficiently sorted through our recyclables, leaving that responsibility behind us. Next, I ventured into a territory I hadn't explored in far too long; Shoe Carnival. There, I found myself trying on numerous pairs of shoes, seeking the perfect fit. After years of sticking with the same style, I recognized that my feet needed better support now that I spend the entire day on them.
With our footwear mission accomplished, we made a brief stop at GNC to look at some supplements before heading over to the Salvation Army. I was pleasantly surprised to discover an array of treasures: at least four pairs of jeans in various styles, a charming vintage thermos that caught my eye, and a comfortable new office chair that should enhance my workspace.
Armed with our newfound treasures, we returned home, and I jumped between setting up my newly arranged office area and assisting in cleaning the kitchen. It's hard to believe we've inhabited this house for more than a decade; the years really do fly by!
Reflecting on the day, I can't help but consider it a great success. I capped off the evening by settling down to watch a captivating series on Paramount while making further adjustments to my office setup. After indulging in a satisfying dinner of loaded nachos, I fought the drowsiness and managed to stay awake, hoping to drift into a deep and restful sleep soon after.
June 04, 2026
A world gone weird.........
I went back to work wearing my new sneakers and some new jeans, but everything felt quite tight when I arrived. There were plenty of managers around, and everyone seemed to be doing their jobs. As evening approached, however, employees and management scattered like cockroaches, leaving us to face the oncoming crowd alone. Interestingly, the person in charge for the evening was on his first night in that role. The most surprising part was that when he went to lunch, he put me in charge, even though I had been with the company for less than two weeks. This situation led some people to believe that I had been with the company much longer than I actually had. My brief time in command was uneventful, but it was certainly an interesting experience.
Small adjustments....
I was able to get a good night's sleep and even managed to take a second nap before heading into work today. I feel well-rested, and my daily to-do list is up to date. I've made some progress on my novel and have moved the garage project forward a bit. Today, I handled both Walmart and Uber tasks. Although I'm feeling tired, I'm considering today a success. Tomorrow might be a different story since I start my double shift, which will be quite a challenge. On the bright side, if I make it through Friday and Saturday, I should have Sunday off.
June 05, 2026
Things are in the air.........
The team leader in my department is currently out for personal reasons and will be away for a few days. Usually, when this type of situation arises, we receive a replacement from another store to step in and provide support, but this time around, that hasn't happened. While it's nice to feel trusted and have confidence in our individual capabilities, the absence of a leader puts us at a considerable disadvantage should any issues or incidents emerge. For now, all we can do is wait and see how things unfold amidst this uncertainty.
Today also marks the start of what we refer to as "double back day." I wrapped up my shift at 10:00 PM, only to realize I must return bright and early at 9:00 AM tomorrow morning. Although that seems like ample time to rest, it's truly not enough for me. Even though my job may not be physically demanding, the mental strain is quite significant. Throughout my shift, I am constantly engaged with customers, answering their queries and providing assistance. More importantly, I have to keep a vigilant eye on the items in the carts of patrons who are spread across up to 12 registers operating in 2 lanes. The Walmart app could be a useful tool to help track everything more efficiently, but relying on my phone would distract me from the immediate chaos around me, making it harder to monitor the register lines and keep everything running smoothly. I've been working to find a balance that allows me to manage my responsibilities, but I can't deny that it takes a toll on my mental stamina.
Coming together....
Each day seems to bring a small but noticeable improvement. Today, I found myself enjoying my new jeans; they fit just right and make me feel more confident. My new sneakers are also acceptable, providing enough comfort for long hours on my feet. However, I can't escape the inevitable reality that my feet tend to sweat after being active all day. It's just something I'll have to accept and learn to manage over time.
This morning felt particularly productive, as I successfully completed my entire routine before heading off to work, which gives me a sense of accomplishment. I have a slight anxiety creeping in, wondering if tomorrow might be more challenging, but that's just the current state of my mind. In a pleasant surprise, I found some time to write a bit more of my novel before leaving, and I'm feeling that I'm inching closer to the climax of the story, which excites me.
When I returned home that evening, the atmosphere was chaotic as I hurried through my nightly tasks. It may sound contradictory, but the rush to prepare for bed felt frantic and overwhelming. With work looming over me again, I struggled to find a moment to mentally unwind and let go of the day's stresses. Nevertheless, I hold onto the hope that everything will eventually fall into place.
Running on autopilot...
..I can do this.....
June 06, 2026
Day shift.........
Having now experienced both the day and night shifts, I can say with certainty that the night shift suits me far better. This is my first encounter with the morning shift, and I must confess, it hasn't made a positive impression on me. There's something distinctly unsettling about it; the energy in the air feels palpably different. As I interact with my colleagues, I've noticed an unusual amount of tension lingering among the morning crew. It's hard to articulate precisely what contributes to this discomfort, but the atmosphere feels thick, almost suffocating at times.
Each person brings their own unique personality and quirks to the workplace, which is completely natural, but today, the level of unease seems unusually pronounced. It could very well be my own perception clouded by a lack of sleep and residual distractions from working the night before. Yet, I hold onto the hope that this uneasy dynamic will ease with time.
After wrapping up my shift at Walmart, I filled my gas tank, a ritual that now feels almost automatic, and activated the Uber app. To my dismay, the same disappointing reality awaited me as before. It appears that many drivers who had temporarily left the platform have returned, greatly complicating the situation for those of us trying to earn a sustainable income.
I've had conversations with several fellow drivers who have been navigating the rideshare world for years. They recounted how their earnings have been slashed by nearly 50% in just the past month. Although rides are still available, it seems that the majority are being allocated to newer drivers, leaving seasoned ones like myself feeling sidelined. Many are now contemplating a shift in their careers altogether. I can't help but worry that if this trend continues, it could spell trouble for the entire industry in the long run.
On a more positive note, I've noticed that gas prices are gradually decreasing, lending a touch of optimism amidst this mixed bag of circumstances.
Move along, nothing to see here....
Today was one of those days where I felt about as captivating as watching paint dry. The morning whizzed past in a blur of hasty movements, and even though I had managed to get a reasonable amount of sleep, a persistent drowsiness lingered behind my eyelids, making everything feel slower. As I scrambled to get to work on time, I realized I had completely bypassed my usual morning routine, leaving no opportunity to prepare a wholesome lunch. This left me with no choice but to resort to Walmart for my midday meal.
Sure, I could have opted for one of the nearby local restaurants, but the idea of spending money on something that didn't tempt my appetite felt like throwing money away. The thought of the Chinese restaurant down the street or the familiar glow of Burger King didn't appeal to me in the slightest. So, I settled for four hot dogs from the deli, their aroma mingling with the scent of the potato chips I threw in my cart, which, surprisingly, turned out to be quite filling and satisfying enough to keep hunger at bay.
Once work wrapped up, I discovered that Uber wasn't going to be a feasible option once again. With a hint of frustration, I made my way home, looking forward to unwinding after a long day. However, as the minutes ticked by, I couldn't help but watch the Uber heat map, and to my dismay, noticed it starting to light up around 10:00 PM, just as I felt my eyelids growing heavier. The temptation to venture out for an hour or two crossed my mind, but the thought of my own safety was a firm reminder to stay put. Tomorrow, I resolved to take the time to sit down and devise a thoughtful plan for moving forward.
June 07, 2026
Planning to plan.........
Today, with a rare and much-anticipated full day off, I dedicated my time to organizing my thoughts and mapping out a detailed schedule for the upcoming tasks that lie ahead. One of my main objectives is to determine how to effectively integrate ride-share apps into my daily routine alongside my commitments at Walmart. Over the past month, I've observed a concerning decline in my earnings from both Uber and Lyft, nearly as if the universe conspired against my efforts. This significant drop in income directly correlated with some serious car troubles that forced me off the road, leaving me feeling frustrated and unsure of how to navigate this challenging situation. Each day without the ability to drive feels heavier, as I grapple with the financial strain and seek solutions to get back on track.
Do it. Do it. DO IT!!!....
Today was a full day immersed in the dense, captivating world of my garage. I rolled up my sleeves, dismantled my entire workspace, and meticulously reconstructed it into a more efficient and flowing configuration. As I worked, I flicked on the wall-mounted TV, the screen flickering to life as I navigated to YouTube. The air vibrated with robust, hard-rocking tunes from bands like Halestorm, Evanescence, The Pretty Reckless, Dorothy, and In This Moment. The driving rhythms and powerful vocals surged through the space, fueling my motivation and pushing me to keep hammering away at my project.
By the time I stepped back to survey my handiwork, a sense of accomplishment washed over me. While I still need to build some walls for added privacy and a finished look, for now, everything felt securely in place. I contemplated whether I could get by without those walls, especially if I adjusted the tracks for my curtains; a thought I'll save for another day. What mattered most at that moment was the newfound functionality of my space.
Eventually, after hours of energetic work, I needed a break from the thumping music. I took a deep breath, transitioned to Netflix, and lost myself in a series of peculiar films. Each one was a bizarre journey into dystopian realms, entangled with strange narratives that I could hardly recall by the time I finished. They all blended together into a fascinating tapestry of oddness that perfectly complemented the productive day I'd had.
June 08, 2026
Moving forward.........
I started my day with a surge of energy and an unwavering sense of determination. As I approached the final stretch of my day shift, I could hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of returning to my usual schedule. There's an unmistakable vibe during the day shift that just doesn't resonate with me; it's almost as if the atmosphere is charged with a frenetic energy that I find overwhelming.
The day unfolded in an almost monotonous fashion, and we encountered an unusually low volume of claims, setting a record for the day. This unexpected lull had me dashing back and forth to the store every 15 minutes, a bit like a tightly wound clock springing into action. Despite the frantic pace of my movements, everything fell into place by the end of the day.
After I clocked out, I spent a few rewarding hours driving for Uber, engaging with various passengers and soaking in the vibrant city atmosphere. By the time I returned home, I felt a sense of accomplishment wash over me. Overall, I'm declaring today a resounding success.
Changes....
I've been dedicating my time at home to transforming my workspace into a more inspiring and efficient area. I carefully positioned my drawing tablets on both computers, ensuring everything is easily accessible while creating an organized aesthetic. As I continued to make adjustments to the layout, I could feel the space evolving into something special. It's coming together beautifully, with the soft glow of ambient lighting enhancing the atmosphere. While there are still a few elements that need my attention, I can already imagine diving back into my novel soon. Overall, the workspace now radiates a sense of functionality that I truly appreciate, and I'm finding myself increasingly enamored with the space I've created.
June 09, 2026
Last day of days.........
Today marks a significant transition for me, as it's my last day working the day shift. Tomorrow, I'll revert to my usual schedule, wrapping up my work at 10:00 PM. The day was mostly smooth, yet a few unexpected issues surfaced that required our attention. We encountered some confusion regarding the processing of food program access. The guidelines have grown stricter, and now, access information can only be inputted manually if the physical card is present. If there's an issue with the card not reading, it's crucial that the identification matches the details on the program card. While this policy has been in place for a while, some stores had previously opted to overlook it, but that leniency has come to an end.
In an interesting twist, I learned that my name has made its way up to upper management, and there are plans to discuss my performance and contributions soon. I'm left wondering whether this attention is a positive development or a cause for concern, but it certainly feels like a noteworthy milestone in my career.
After finishing my shift at Walmart, I logged into Uber, but much to my dismay, the demand for rides was quite low. I found myself waiting for nearly 45 minutes before I finally got a short ride. Following that, I headed to the airport, where I was greeted by the sight of 61 rideshare drivers lounging in the parking lot, all of us hoping for a surge in requests. After another long hour of waiting, I finally managed to secure another short run before deciding to call it a night. I heard from several seasoned drivers that demand typically doesn't pick up until after 9:00 PM. With my shift change approaching, I'm optimistic that tomorrow night will yield better opportunities.
Very tired....
I did not sleep well and felt rushed for time before work. I pushed through the morning with as much perseverance as I could muster. When lunch finally came, I opted for three hot dogs and a bag of chips. After my disappointing experience with Uber, I headed home and watched sitcoms until it was time for bed. I just didn't have the energy to tackle anything on my to-do list. I hope that getting back into a normal routine starting tomorrow will make a difference.
Into mundania...
...but will it last?....
June 10, 2026
Is this routine?.........
Navigating through the workday felt almost effortless, as each hour ticked by in a synchronized ballet of familiar tasks and predictable rhythms. The mundane routine provided a comforting backdrop, and though moments of chaos occasionally erupted like brief thunderstorms, they were merely minor disturbances in an otherwise tranquil atmosphere. Larger-than-life dogs meandered through the store, their presence both amusing and mildly disruptive, yet thankfully, they managed to keep their antics to a minimum.
Similarly, my experiences with Uber have mirrored this steady pace. Each ride has unfolded in much the same way, with little deviation from the expected, fostering a sense of calm as I settle into a comfortable routine. It's as if the tides of life are beginning to smooth out, instilling in me a growing belief that perhaps, just perhaps, things are starting to quiet down and find their balance.
Ah, the calm....
Drama in life tends to make time feel like it moves more quickly. Right now, however, time feels very slow, and I'm not sure I would trade it for anything different. The morning passed like clockwork, and I even managed to take a two-hour nap before heading to work. Since I spent a total of 14 hours at work, I had little time for personal activities throughout the day. I did make some adjustments to my personal space, but that was about it.
Well...
..isn't this fun?....
June 11, 2026
Never call the devil!.........
Yesterday, I mentioned that the world had slipped into a mundane routine. However, I should have known better. I called out to the universe, and the universe answered; unfortunately, she welcomed me with a sledgehammer.
As soon as I walked into work, I knew it was going to be an interesting day. One of our older employees was up front managing the registers, and the rest of the front end felt like a ghost town. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the customers, as they were backed up halfway across the store. The operations manager grabbed me the moment I arrived and instructed me to open the registers. Keep in mind that running the front end is outside of my job description, but I did it anyway. I opened eight registers and had everything running smoothly in about 15 minutes. However, I ended up staying in that position for the next two hours.
The universe wasn't going to let me off that easily. When I went to lunch, I took a 15-minute nap in my car because I was feeling a bit stressed. Feeling refreshed, I headed back in, only to find myself in another busy situation. While I was at lunch, the store experienced a power failure. It was only brief, but it took down the computers. When they came back up, they were in credit card-only mode. I spent the next two hours restarting every single register, which is a monumental task well outside my job description.
To wrap up the day, while the night manager was servicing the registers, I approached the one register that had been malfunctioning since I was hired. I grabbed the cash recycler, checked the pathways, and located the jam. There had been a service call on this register for more than two weeks, and all it took was a bit of attention to detail.
On the other hand, my experience with Uber was far less exciting. I was only able to complete two rides, both of which were annoyingly long. One passenger had me stop at McDonald's, and it took over 30 minutes to get through the drive-thru. I'm still ahead of my expectations for the week, but not nearly where I wanted to be.
The personal area....
At present, I am dedicated to redesigning my home workspace to improve its functionality and aesthetics. I've significantly enlarged the area, allowing for a more harmonious and balanced layout that encourages productivity. Previously, my workspace was cramped and limited, restricting me primarily to writing tasks. Now, I've carved out multiple designated work areas that will cater to a variety of activities, whether that includes reading, planning, or creative projects. Once everything is completely arranged and organized, I believe it will offer a very intuitive and user-friendly environment for any kind of work I want to pursue. I can't wait to share pictures of the transformation soon!
Now that is how to kill a mood...
..Oh, the rain....
June 12, 2026
Let's start easy.........
This is my day off, so things are easy. I caught up with my bookkeeping, and then I was done for the day. I was looking forward to a highly productive personal day. That did not happen.
Not as planned....
The plan for today was to hit the ground running, eager to embrace the sunshine and tackle some much-needed work in the yard before the oppressive midday heat set in. However, fate had other ideas. As I diligently moved through my morning routine, the sky, which had seemed a brilliant blue just moments before, suddenly transformed into a canvas of dark, ominous clouds. Almost as if on cue, the heavens opened up, unleashing a torrential downpour that drowned any hopes of outdoor productivity.
As the rain cascaded from the sky, I couldn't help but imagine animals making their way two by two toward an imaginary ark. It may sound like an exaggeration, but it was a fitting image; the thunder rumbled violently, shaking the very foundations of my house, while the rain fell in sheets, flooding the pool until it overflowed like an unruly cascade.
With most of my outdoor plans thwarted, I realized I had to adapt quickly. I decided to pivot my efforts indoors, focusing on organizing my personal space instead. This unexpected shift turned out to be a blessing in disguise. After immersing myself in the task for a good portion of the day, the clutter that once consumed my area began to vanish. With just a few more hours of effort, I envision a creative sanctuary where I can seamlessly transition from writing to painting to jewelry making, all within the same organized space, free from the chaos that had surrounded me.
To keep my spirits up amidst the dreary weather, I cranked up the volume on my favorite playlist, filling the air with vibrant, uplifting melodies. While my mood didn't always keep pace with the rhythm of the music, I made a conscious effort to remain positive and embrace the day's unexpected turns.
Now for the routine...
..for good or bad....
June 13, 2026
Clockwork, I will take it.........
Getting through the day-to-day routine has been relatively easy. For once, everything fell into place, and there is nothing significant to report. I arrived at work on time, faced no issues during my shift at Walmart, and even had a smooth experience with Uber. Perhaps things are looking up.
Sometimes, things are easy....
I had plenty of time to go through my morning routine and didn't encounter any serious issues. I have plans prepared for my upcoming two days off, and at the moment, everything feels like it's running smoothly. It's a little unsettling.
Never call the name of the devil...
..He may answer....
June 14, 2026
Now, this was one hell of a day.........
Somewhere along my journey, I suspect I may have slipped into a state of complacency. Life was flowing smoothly, and I found myself getting a little too comfortable. When that occurs, my inner voice; whom I've come to believe is Lilith; sends a jolt of reality my way, often in the form of an unexpected challenge. Today was no exception.
I sprang out of bed late, the clock mocking me as minutes ticked by faster than I could move. With time slipping away, I opted to forgo the usual lunch preparation and headed to the deli, hoping to grab something quick with the tips I'd accumulated from driving for Uber. However, my hopes were dashed when I ended up with a lackluster, dry hamburger; utterly devoid of any condiments that might have salvaged its flavor. Frustrating as that was, it barely scratched the surface of the challenges that lay ahead.
Midway through my morning shift, two young men entered the store, navigating their way through the self-checkout line with a polite demeanor. I took a moment to assist another customer, completely lost in the task at hand. When I turned back, I noticed the paper rack that had once been brimming with stock was now alarmingly empty. Fortune smiled upon me, however; one of the young men had forgotten something at the register and had to come back inside. Seizing the opportunity, I approached him to clarify that the newspapers he had taken weren't complimentary.
I followed him outside, planting myself next to our vigilant security guard, which silently signaled to him that something needed to be addressed. To my relief, the young man returned the papers; 18 of them, each priced at $3; a modest but satisfying victory for my first stop for AP09.
Yet, the day's narrative was far from complete. As I sat down on my lunch break, contemplating the dry hamburger that had been my meager meal, my phone buzzed ominously. It was a notification from Uber, bluntly informing me that I had been disqualified from driving due to a citation I had received in my tractor trailer seven years ago. A seemingly minor incident; a $63 overweight ticket caused by a blown pigtail that led to a shifted load; now threatened to unravel my secondary income. Rage surged through me as I called Uber, only to learn that their decision was final. They did, however, guide me on how to appeal, a process I intended to tackle first thing tomorrow.
You might think that this torrent of events would be more than enough to fill a single day. Yet, things took yet another turn as evening descended, bringing a busier crowd and heightened tension. While I stood at my station, deftly directing traffic to maintain order, an unexpected voice cut through the noise. A customer, seemingly agitated, shouted that I didn't need to keep an eye on him. Ironically, I hadn't even registered his presence until then. He stood just three feet away, yet he acted as if I were scrutinizing him with malicious intent.
His demeanor shifted rapidly as he became increasingly aggressive, hurling a stream of threats and racial slurs my way. In that moment, I remained calm, adamant about maintaining my professionalism, and quickly sought out our security guard. Alas, he was nowhere in sight. Just when it seemed like the situation was spiraling out of control, Simeon returned from his lunch break. Together, we stood firm as the irate customer exited, but not without amplifying his barrage of threats and slurs, each word laden with hostility as he pushed through the door.
This chaotic episode was certainly not the way I wanted to conclude my day. Despite the turmoil, I take pride in how I handled the unfolding situation, and I plan to reflect on that experience in the personal section of my blog later today.
The day ended about 30 minutes after my shift concluded when both Simeon and I assisted a customer who had only scanned half of her items. We had to audit her entire cart and ring up an additional $80.00 in merchandise. What makes the situation particularly uncomfortable is that she appeared to have a handler with her, who was facilitating several transactions and removing approximately $1,000 in cash. This handler comes in almost every night with a different woman. It's something I plan to address at a later date.
Some self-reflection....
Today's theme is one of self-reflection, a journey inward that feels particularly poignant today. My mood has been affected by the recent restrictions imposed by Uber, casting a shadow over my thoughts, but I am determined to navigate through it, no matter the course I must take.
As I pause to reflect, I find myself haunted by an interaction with a thug that unfolded earlier. Despite my outward calm; maintaining control without raising my hands or voice; my inner turmoil was a bubbling cauldron of emotions, barely contained. Confronted with such hostility and aggression, something deep within me stirred, disturbing a primal instinct I didn't realize was still lurking beneath the surface.
Surprisingly, though perhaps I shouldn't have been, I found my mind racing through tactical strategies, mentally calculating outcomes, and oddly hoping he might escalate the encounter. We were similarly sized and weighed, and it had been far too long since I had found myself in such a visceral situation, one that tested not only my physical resolve but also my mental fortitude.
Yet, a wave of disappointment washed over me as I confronted my initial response. My first instinct had been to aim for his eyes; a move I know is reckless and beneath the person I strive to be. It had been ages since I entertained such thoughts, and I wrestled with whether I should truly feel ashamed of those fleeting urges. After all, I had not acted upon them. At one point, a reckless thought nudged at the back of my mind, suggesting I follow him to his car, but the realization of the cameras watching at Walmart halted me in my tracks.
I dislike how this line of thinking creeps into my consciousness, and I know I must find a way to exorcise it from my mind. It feels like an overwhelming burden to carry in a single day. Thankfully, the prospect of having the next two days off looms ahead, providing me with a chance to regain my equilibrium and restore my peace of mind.
Step back...
..and reflect....
June 15, 2026
Phone time.........
Today's workday involved making phone calls about the Uber situation. To sum it up, my only option is to file an appeal, which I have already done. Unfortunately, this process can take between 30 to 45 days to complete, so I have no choice but to wait. On the other hand, Lyft is expected to move much faster and should have my account cleared, assuming my appeal is successful, within the next 72 hours. It has turned into a waiting game.
Some good, outdoor labor....
Some people believe that good, hard labor can cleanse the soul. While I'm not entirely convinced of this notion, I decided to put it to the test today. With a long list of tasks awaiting me, some indoors and some outdoors, I felt drawn to the fresh air and sunshine outside first.
I started with the front yard, where the grass had grown wild. What began as a simple task of mowing quickly expanded as I looked around and saw the other areas in need of attention. I decided to tackle the mounting weeds that were suffocating my flower beds. Then, I picked up the weed whacker and let its powerful hum guide me as I carved through the stubborn overgrowth. The sun beat down on my back, and sweat trickled down my forehead, but I pushed on.
Next, I turned my attention to the elderberry tree, its branches stretching out in wild abandon. Carefully, I trimmed them back, leaving a more structured silhouette against the sky. Weeding the flower bed proved to be an arduous task that tested my patience; the roots clung tightly to the soil, refusing to let go. After hours of hard work, I finally considered burying the tangled cables for the exterior lights, which added an extra layer of accomplishment to my day.
Throughout my labor, I cycled through a total of four batteries, two for the relentless lawn mower and two for the sturdy weed whacker, each one succumbing to the demands of the tasks at hand. By the time I put down my tools and stepped away from the chaos of the outdoors, I was utterly exhausted, every muscle in my body weary from the exertion.
As dusk approached, I finally made my way inside, craving the comfort of cleanliness. I changed out of my dirt-streaked clothes and indulged in a rejuvenating exfoliating shower, letting the warm water wash away the fatigue of the day. Despite the soreness creeping in, I felt a flicker of satisfaction; the physical labor had allowed me to momentarily escape the worries weighing on my mind. Tomorrow promises more outdoor work, but I also need to carve out time for my novel and sort through some collected data, a task that will demand a different kind of focus.
Let's do...
..obsessions!....
June 16, 2026
The first obsession.........
What constitutes an obsession? For me, it's a simple matter: an unwillingness to let things go. Currently, that obsession is directed towards Uber. Today, while I had the day off from Walmart, I spent considerable time researching legal challenges and precedents related to my recent termination from Uber.
I was informed that due to an overweight citation I received in 2019 while driving a tractor-trailer, I am no longer eligible to use the Uber app. To clarify, this citation resulted from a shift in my load caused by a malfunctioning pigtail. When the pigtail failed, it engaged the emergency brakes, which caused a minor forward shift in the load. Since my load was close to the legal limits, this slight shift resulted in one of my tandems being overweight.
I was able to repair the pigtail easily, but before I could reach the nearest commercial scale, I had to pass through a weigh station. The shift was so minimal that the fine amounted to only $63, which I paid immediately. The issue was resolved then and there, and that was the end of the matter.
Uber's background check service has a statute of limitations of seven years, and my incident occurred six years and ten months ago, right at the edge of that limit. Uber is using this citation as grounds to deny me access to their platform. Regrettably, any infraction gives them the power to restrict access.
I find myself with limited options: waiting out the issue, appealing the review, or venting my frustrations. However, I know that venting will lead nowhere. I have already requested a review and appealed the situation, but dealing with a mega company that is operated from outside the United States by an overseas support team proves challenging. Although their main servers are in the U.S., there appears to be no domestic support available.
I will continue to fight this issue. It seems that Lyft might offer a quicker resolution, but I can't guarantee that either. This whole situation is extremely frustrating.
The end of a project....
I needed a way to channel my creative energy, and I found it while working on the final edit of *Awakening*. I pushed through the last 30 pages and completed the proofing project. Once I was satisfied with the proofs, I turned my attention to Amazon to begin the lengthy process of publication. What I discovered surprised me: the last time I published on this platform was over a decade ago, and that process took two to three weeks. This time, I completed the publication for the paperback in under an hour, which felt quite anticlimactic.
I then proceeded with the Kindle, ebook, and hardback processes. To sum it up, the novel is now published and available on Amazon. Once I have the full link, I will share it at the beginning of each month moving forward. I have read the novel about a dozen times, and I am very happy with the outcome.
A big bag...
..of murk....
June 17, 2026
Boring? Really?........
One of the last things I expected today was a boring day. When I arrived at work, things were a bit hectic, but everything was running smoothly. There was a slight line of customers, but as soon as I jumped in and started directing people, things quickly fell into place. For the most part, I spent my entire 8-hour shift in this way. There was one minor incident where someone tried to steal some shopping bags, but that was about it.
The high point, nails....
I'm not sure whether to feel happy or sad that the highlight of my day was doing my nails. They turned out okay, but nothing worth taking a picture of. My coworkers had some interesting responses to them, but overall, it was just an ordinary day. Ride share services are still down, and I'm uncertain about what's going to happen with that, but I decided not to waste any energy worrying about it today.
More boring...
..is this a trend?....
June 18, 2026
U-Learn, oye!........
As soon as I stepped into the office this morning, or rather in the early afternoon, a wave of unexpected news hit me. I was informed that I had accumulated a staggering ten overdue computer learning programs. The last time I had checked my progress, I thought I was fully caught up through the end of July, so this revelation came as quite a surprise.
What stood out to me was that these programs were predominantly centered around management topics, an area I always found insightful. However, there was one course I hadn't been able to complete; it required a virtual reality setup that has been out of commission for quite some time.
I can't shake the feeling that something might be brewing behind the scenes. Additionally, I was informed that I had exceeded my scheduled work hours by about 20 minutes, which compelled me to leave earlier than planned. Normally, I would have opted for a rideshare to get home, but unfortunately, the rideshare system is still down, leaving me with limited options.
To add to the stress, I took some time to review the legal aspects surrounding this issue, and I must admit, it seems quite robust. If they fail to respond positively to my appeal, I might find myself in a challenging predicament. The thought of facing that reality is something I'm not quite prepared for just yet.
Nothing to see here, move along....
I am feeling very tired right now. While I'm getting enough sleep, I don't believe it's of good quality, which is contributing to the issue. My dreams have become more intense, and unfortunately, not in a positive way. I am struggling to become lucid during these dreams, which adds to my distress. This situation tends to occur when I feel that something is missing in my life, but I can't quite pinpoint what it is. As a result, I've been going through my day like an observer in my own life.
June 19, 2026
Pay attention!........
I'm feeling a profound sense of neglect from those around me lately. One significant concern I encountered today was a cart filled with frozen food that had been left unattended in the aisle. I kept a vigilant eye on it for a total of five hours, consistently bringing it to the attention of several staff members. Despite my efforts to highlight the issue, by the end of the day, the entire cart's contents had perished, resulting in a complete loss due to inaction.
Moreover, there seems to be a troubling trend of individuals meandering aimlessly through the store. I've noticed that some people make a habit of abandoning their posts for short breaks, only to fail to return. When one person takes this liberty, it creates a ripple effect, leading others to feel that such behavior is acceptable as well.
Although technically, this issue doesn't fall under my responsibilities, I find it hard to ignore the situation. My sense of duty compels me to intervene, even though I'm uncertain about how things will ultimately play out. For now, my focus must remain on the elements I can manage.
Frustration....
I would like to think that this is a test from the universe, but I've experienced enough challenges in my life that I believe this is just universal sadism. As I mentioned earlier, work felt like a little slice of hell, and even though I couldn't take action, it's not my place to do so. Before work, I felt exhausted despite getting eight hours of sleep. I even took an additional two-hour nap before heading in, but I was still tired. When I finally finished my shift at Walmart, I logged into Lyft and managed to complete one ride before they shut me down again. Now, I have to wait until the 22nd for the final outcome of my review. Based on how Uber reacted to the same report, I'm not feeling very optimistic. I have tomorrow off, and I'm hoping to get into a better mindset before the new week begins.
Then there is...
..the NO day....
June 20, 2026
Too much time........
I have spent an excessive amount of time exploring legal options regarding rideshare services. The background check service used by both Uber and Lyft is called Checkr. Unfortunately, this service does not limit its review to offenses that would actually impact a rideshare driver. In my case, they looked back seven years and pulled up a single incident where the tandems on my tractor trailer were overweight. This situation occurred because I lost a pigtail, resulting in the brake slot being affected and the load shifting. The fine for this incident was $63, which I paid immediately. However, the background check does not differentiate between types of offenses; it merely reports that an offense occurred. There are very limited options available for requesting a review of these findings. Both Uber and Lyft treat working for them as a privilege, even though drivers are providing a critical service. This has cost me a lot of time and money, not to mention causing a significant headache.
Spinning wheels....
Today, I managed to accomplish a couple of important tasks that had been weighing on my mind. First, I ventured outside, where the sun was shining, and the air was crisp, and tackled the overgrown lawn. I mowed the grass before it turned into a wild jungle, feeling a sense of satisfaction as I shaped the unkempt patches into neat rows.
Next, I dedicated some time to setting up my creative area in the garage, transforming it into a vibrant space filled with potential. With the drawers organized and the colorful art supplies neatly arranged, I envisioned all the projects I could undertake. Yet, even with my creative space ready for action, I found myself lacking the motivation to dive in and start creating. It was disheartening, almost as if a thick fog of inactivity had settled over me, keeping my creative instincts at bay.
As the day came to a close, I couldn't shake this feeling of unproductiveness. Besides the tasks I completed, everything else felt stagnant. I could feel the weight of my worries pressing down on me, especially concerning my rideshare situation. The uncertainty loomed large as I awaited the final decision from Lyft, which wouldn't arrive for another two agonizing days. If the outcome isn't in my favor, I'm left with a daunting dilemma, as living on a single income simply isn't sustainable. There's an overwhelming tidal wave of thoughts and emotions swirling around me, and at times, I feel like I'm on the outside looking in, peering into a world of stability that feels just out of reach.
Not the greatest day...
..but what is?....
June 21, 2026
Could it be Sunday?........
Sundays have always left me feeling a sense of unease. This particular Sunday, I was under the weather, but I sensed there was more at play than just my physical discomfort. The atmosphere felt chaotic, with people drifting off into their own worlds, leaving responsibilities unattended. It seemed like every time a problem arose, there was a frantic scramble to locate the person assigned to address it, leading to an escalating sense of frustration. To make matters worse, nobody seemed to be wearing the uniforms they were expected to don; an ongoing issue that only added to the disarray.
In the midst of this confusion, I've been reflecting on my role in our store. I've been attempting to fit into the mold of my job, despite the limitations of my current responsibilities. From the very beginning, I've taken the initiative to exceed the duties outlined for me, tackling tasks that belong to a specific position created for that purpose. However, that's not my designated role. It feels like I've drawn a line in the sand; while it would be easy for them to officially assign me to that position, until that day comes, I must rein in my efforts. Surprisingly, this restraint has proven much more challenging than I anticipated. Only time will reveal how this situation unfolds.
Under the weather....
Today has been a tough one for me; I'm feeling quite under the weather. I somehow managed to drift off into slumber for a total of seven hours, then took an unexpected three-hour nap later on. That's an unusually hefty amount of sleep for me. When I finally stirred awake, I found my appetite had all but vanished, lingering throughout the day like a distant memory. My body felt heavy and unwell, but the source of my discomfort eluded me, leaving a vague sense of malaise. This clouded my focus and made the simplest tasks feel irritatingly cumbersome.
On top of everything, I received a notification that Lyft has processed my background check from the service center. This means I could either be celebrating a new chapter or facing disappointment by tomorrow night. Right now, though, I'm caught in a frustrating limbo, just waiting for the outcome. Despite my physical discomfort, I found a spark of determination and managed to catch up on all my responsibilities from this morning until I wrapped up work. At least I'm on track for the upcoming week. What surprises or challenges await me? Only time will tell.
Things float down here...
..Right Stephen?....
June 22, 2026
I will say ouch........
The day was rough but uneventful. There was no drama, yet the day progressed steadily, like a wheel grinding against the road. I forgot to bring lunch and had to settle for something from the deli, which turned out to be terrible. However, that might just be a reflection of my mood, and I won't dwell on it. Things are frustrating right now because there's a lot happening that is beyond my control, and I'm unsure how to handle it. This is a journey.
A healthy sail, but no wind....
Why did I invoke a sailing metaphor? The header of this paragraph brings it to mind. It's been ages since I've set foot on the ocean or any expansive body of water, yet a vivid image clings stubbornly to my thoughts. I'm unsure of its origin, but I find myself picturing a sailboat. Not just any vessel, but a true sailboat; one that dances gracefully with the wind rather than a motorboat or a luxurious yacht. Initially, I imagined it as a catamaran, but as I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander freely, I recognized it as something more classic: a recreational keelboat. Although it could have had an engine, this particular boat was solely powered by the wind's embrace.
Around me, the waters were expansive, possibly the Gulf of Mexico or the vastness of the open ocean. This vision is odd; it lacks intricate details yet exudes an ambiance that feels so real. The salty tang of the sea air mingles with my senses, assuring me that I am far from any tranquil Great Lakes or serene inland lakes.
If I were to delve into the psychological implications of this unusual vision, I would focus on the sailboat itself and the condition of the water around me. To sail is to embody a certain emotional state. The waters that surrounded me were calm and serene, reflecting a sense of confidence in my current direction and an emotional equilibrium that brings about a peaceful mindset. This imagery stands in stark contrast to my actual feelings. In the vision, I found myself managing the rigging and steering the boat, an embodiment of my sense of control and autonomy. There was no one else on board; I was the sole captain of my journey, fully responsible for charting my course. Despite not knowing my exact location, I didn't feel adrift or lost; instead, there was a reassuring absence of dread. Thus, this image suggests that I don't feel aimless or overwhelmed by the transitions life presents.
The dream itself is baffling because it contradicts my current emotional reality, which leaves me feeling perplexed. At present, I struggle to find clarity through meditation, yoga, or Tai Chi due to a persistent lack of concentration. This inability to reflect on the vision is deeply frustrating, as I long to understand its significance.
June 23, 2026
Spinning the wheels........
The wheels continue to spin relentlessly, and the engine of the workplace hums with a constant rhythm, yet I find myself feeling adrift, as if I'm moving through molasses without making any real progress. There's an unsettling atmosphere of instability that hangs over my job, and it feels particularly weighty since it's not driven by my actions. I'm new to this position within the store, and it seems that some colleagues struggle to wrap their heads around the unique dynamics at play. It's a perplexing challenge for them to comprehend that my role resembles that of a front-end agent while also operating outside the conventional hierarchy of the workplace.
I am committed to ensuring that operations run smoothly, which often necessitates a willingness to break from the norm and initiate changes that can feel disruptive. Unfortunately, those who are directly affected by these shifts often fail to recognize their necessity, leaving me feeling a bit isolated in my efforts.
Though I understand that a clearer framework is required to navigate these complexities, I find myself in a position where I cannot provide that clarity. This responsibility rests squarely on the shoulders of the general manager or the operations managers. I suspect they may share my concerns about the challenges posed by my supervisor, but for now, I can only wait and see how the situation unfolds.
Another metaphor....
Yesterday, I felt like a sailboat stranded at sea, waiting in vain for a gust of wind to propel me forward. Today, I find myself akin to a wagon stuck in thick, unforgiving mud, without a team of horses to help pull me out of this quagmire. It seems this struggle is part of an unsettling recurring theme in my life, one that's exacerbated by a multitude of negative influences pressing down on me.
Without the chance to engage in my beloved physical practices like yoga or my cherished mental routines including meditation, I am adrift, grappling with how to regain my footing in the midst of this turmoil. Every aspect of my being feels under siege, and the more I try to stabilize myself, the more challenging it becomes to find solid ground.
On my upcoming day off, which is this weekend, I intend to delve deep within myself and see if I can pinpoint any weaknesses in these struggles, looking for even the faintest opportunity for a breakthrough. If I can conquer just one of these daunting challenges, I have faith the rest will tumble away like a house of cards, creating space for renewal. I realize I'm deep in metaphorical thinking right now, but it seems to capture my current state of mind quite well.
June 24, 2026
It is a day off........
Today was my only day off during the week, a precious opportunity I wanted to seize before the weekend arrived. With that in mind, I poured my energy into searching for gig work beyond the familiar realms of Uber and Lyft. What I encountered, however, was a disheartening maze of dubious opportunities and outright scams that left me feeling frustrated and somewhat defeated.
Despite the plethora of gig options available, my seasoned 60 years on this planet have equipped me with the uncanny ability to sniff out deceit from a distance. Take, for example, one of the glaring schemes I stumbled across. A company promised to enroll me in a circuit board assembly program for the low fee of $99. However, the catch was that I would also need to cover the materials necessary for the assembly and complete the task to their exacting specifications. The prospect of sending back the assembled boards, with the assurance of appropriate compensation, turned out to be more illusion than reality. The vague term "appropriately" translated to a meager payout of only $1 or $2 per board, and it quickly became clear that meeting their impossibly high standards meant my efforts; and expensive materials; would likely go unrewarded.
Another dubious offer came from an individual claiming to be on the brink of making millionaires in less than a month; if you were willing to fork over $500 upfront. Promising riches, he paraded around with a collection of old vehicles and beams with glamorous company; two women who supposedly were the likes of Cheryl Ladd and Bo Derek. It was a spectacle that felt more like a charm offensive than a legitimate business proposal.
As I sifted through more than a hundred supposed opportunities, I found a dysfunctional catalog of offers: pay $199 to become a copywriter, subscribe for $49.99 a month to access a list of work-from-home jobs (only available via an annual payment, of course), or invest a staggering $10,000 to learn the ins and outs of real estate investing. Even the option to launch a pornographic website using public videos was among the bizarre ideas swimming in this sea of scams.
After this exhaustive search, miraculously, one legitimate prospect surfaced. It was a new driving service that had just launched in Memphis. Their model operated similarly to Uber; however, they provided the vehicle, making it unnecessary for me to use my own. This service focused specifically on convalescent and medical runs, which allowed them to pay a premium. The only drawback was their requirement for my availability Monday through Friday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM; a rigid schedule that posed its own challenges.
This entire experience left me with much to ponder. With upcoming elections on the horizon, I believe there should be a mechanism for reporting these exploitative companies, aiming to put them out of business. They act as predators, targeting the desperate and unsuspecting, reminiscent of those relentless telemarketers from overseas who insist that my antivirus has expired. It seems crucial that we find a way to combat these unethical practices and protect those vulnerable to manipulation.
I am a bump, where is my log?....
With my major operations investigation set aside, I accomplished very little today. I spent my time doing nothing, but it was a choice I made, and I'm going to own it. Although I'm not entirely happy with this decision since I didn't check anything off my list or achieve anything productive, I recognize that sometimes you need days like that for your own well-being.
I've been feeling somewhat down for the past few weeks. It's possible that one negative aspect of my lifestyle is contributing to another, but I'm not sure if that's the case. I just can't seem to get my momentum back, and it's becoming increasingly frustrating. I know I need to take action sooner or later; I just don't know what that action will be. Despite the challenges, I have no doubt that I will ultimately come out on top; it's just the journey getting there that's tough.
June 25, 2026
A bit more clarity........
I began my day with a focused 20-minute meeting with my direct supervisor, which helped to clear some of the fog surrounding my current role. While I still have room for growth and understanding, I walked away with a handful of fresh ideas. My supervisor emphasized that my performance has been stellar and that I am successfully forging my own path within this position. We delved into some of the actions I've undertaken recently, and he expressed unwavering support for each one. His encouragement to take initiative confidently has instilled a greater sense of empowerment in me.
Later, I meticulously reviewed all the documentation related to my position, acknowledging my limitations to ensure I don't overstep my boundaries. However, the day took an unexpected turn when all the registers unexpectedly went offline simultaneously. In a flurry of activity, I scrambled to get them back online. During this chaos, I assisted a customer who approached me with a simple request about how to ring up a single bag of small ice. However, I later noticed him loading a suspicious number of ten bags of large ice into the back of his car. Regrettably, this realization dawned on me too late, and I have no concrete way to verify what he actually paid for.
I plan to bring this potential loss to my boss's attention because I believe in the importance of transparency, even if I suspect that my concerns may not result in immediate action. Aside from the challenges posed by the registers, the remainder of my day unfolded as anticipated, maintaining the usual rhythm of my responsibilities.
Still floating....
Apologies to Stephen King, but as Pennywise the clown chillingly reminds us, everything floats down here. That haunting quote captures the essence of my current state of mind. I feel as if I'm suspended in a vast, uncertain sea, unsure if this sensation is liberating or suffocating. Thankfully, I'm not burdened with the grotesque existence of a monstrous spider masquerading as a cheerful clown, preying on the fears of unsuspecting children every seven years. It's been a while since I delved into that particular novel, and perhaps a revisit is in order, if only to remind myself of the creeping dread and dark humor within its pages.
At this moment, a weight rests heavily on my heart, and I find myself caught in an emotional limbo, experiencing little to no joy in the aspects of life that once enlivened me. I dislike this feeling of disconnection and aimlessness. By transforming my internal struggles into words, I hope to acknowledge and confront them; perhaps by giving shape to these thoughts, I can diminish their overwhelming grip. It's as if I'm adrift, floundering in a turbulent current, yearning for a spark that could reignite my momentum. Thankfully, I have a day off approaching on the horizon, and with a bit of fortune, I may be able to check off several tasks from my ever-expanding list. I cling to the hope that accomplishing even a few small things will help lift my spirits. Two consecutive days off would be a dream come true, but alas, life rarely grants such indulgences.
On a brighter note, I've embarked on the journey of crafting a new novel, though I find myself wrestling with the title, which remains stubbornly elusive. I can't predict how long this creative voyage will take, but I am absolutely enchanted by the stunning conclusion I have in mind. It promises to be a delightful surprise that will catch everyone off guard! Now, I must channel that excitement into serious character development and plot refinement. Additionally, I should definitely note on my to-do list the rather embarrassing oversight of ordering my own book; a tangible piece of my labor that I've yet to possess. It's astonishing that I have published it but don't yet own a copy! The world really is a peculiar place.
I must also mention that I'm concurrently navigating the chaotic waters of my political satire novel, though progress feels agonizingly slow. Each passing day brings forth an avalanche of absurdities that rival my wildest imaginings. With each headline and news story, I'm reminded that history is unlikely to look favorably upon this decade.
The final day...
...Oye, what a day....
June 26, 2026
It was good, until it was not good........
I had thought I had finally settled into a comfortable routine and that my life was on the upswing. I felt a sense of stability creeping in, but then I was abruptly jolted out of that tranquility by an encounter that shook my fragile composure. Most people talk about encounters as if they're enlightening experiences, but this one was anything but positive. For the majority of the workday, everything unfolded seamlessly. Tasks were completed on schedule, customers were satisfied, and the atmosphere hummed with productivity; until I faced a person who seemed to revel in chaos.
When I mention "those people," I refer to individuals who sport flamboyant attire and behave in ways that are both exaggerated and attention-seeking. In their relentless pursuit of validation, they frequently lash out at anything that does not align with their limited worldview. In this particular instance, I inched into a confrontation with a young woman who, after methodically scanning every item in her cart, approached the cash register to pay. When I pointed out that she seemed to have overlooked three items hidden beneath her cart, she erupted in indignation as if I had challenged her very existence. Like a brewing storm, her demeanor shifted, and she confronted me with a fierce intensity, proclaiming her importance and insisting that I was overstepping my bounds. She vehemently denied any wrongdoing, asserting with fervor that she was no thief and that she had everything under control.
The interaction felt like it stretched on for an eternity, probably lasting about ten minutes, though the tension made it seem longer. Just as she was gathering her things to leave, I regretfully mentioned that her young daughter had been enjoying a push pop that had not been paid for. This comment only intensified her fury. Rather than simply walking away; which would have been the easier path; she opted to rally a small storm of complaints, seeking out everyone in the vicinity: a front-end associate, the cashier, the manager on duty, my supervisor, and even the security guard stationed near the entrance. To my surprise, I later learned she was a Walmart employee who had used her employee number to finalize her purchases. I can't help but think this won't end well for her.
Despite this tumultuous encounter, my team rallied behind me and confirmed that I had acted within the parameters of my job. Nevertheless, the incident cast a shadow over my night, throwing me off balance. It was disheartening because the evening had shown distinct signs of improvement, and now I felt as though I had been sent spiraling back to square one. While Uber continued to operate offline, Lyft remained my only option.
After my shift, I logged into the Lyft platform, feeling a mix of exhaustion and determination. My first ride was headed toward Bartlett, and I navigated the streets with a weary mind. Once I dropped off my passenger, I pulled over to the side of the road, intending to wait for my next ride. Fatigue overtook me, and I quickly dozed off. I was jolted awake about thirty minutes later by a concerned police officer, who peered into my car, checking on my well-being. I explained that I was merely resting my eyes, and he continued on his way, leaving me a little frazzled but relieved. At that moment, I knew it was best to head home and regroup. I need to find a better balance that allows me to manage both my ridesharing endeavors and my responsibilities at Walmart.
I am tired....
I got to bed late last night, which caused me to sleep in this morning and miss my usual morning nap. This threw my day into disarray. I didn't have a chance to follow my morning routine, which has become somewhat normal lately. Without meditation or my other usual activities, I felt drained throughout the morning and into the afternoon. By the time I finished work, I was completely exhausted, but sleep was elusive once I got home. Since I have tomorrow off, I hope to tackle a few tasks and get into a better mindset.
June 27, 2026
It is a home thing........
The most exciting thing about today is that I had the day off from Walmart, which also meant I didn't participate in ride-sharing. However, that doesn't mean I was unproductive. My activities today were an extension of my personal life, and I got quite a bit accomplished.
Quite the workout....
I sprang out of bed just before dawn, the first light of the day just beginning to peek over the horizon. This was quite an accomplishment, especially since I had arrived home late the night before and only managed a few precious hours of sleep; a less than ideal situation. Nevertheless, I was up and energized, diving headfirst into my long list of tasks awaiting attention.
While my data project whirred away in the background like a diligent companion, I plunged into a mountain of information I had been meticulously sorting for months. I tackled my neglected blog, sifting through countless spam emails to reclaim my inbox. My monthly investment review beckoned, which I approached with a sense of responsibility, and I plotted out advertising strategies for my novel, crafting ideas to capture potential readers' attention.
Before I realized it, the morning hours had slipped away, prompting me to indulge in a brief but revitalizing nap to recharge my energy for the challenges ahead. Once refreshed, I tackled one of the more physically demanding chores: mowing the front yard, followed by a slice of the backyard until the lawn mower's battery succumbed to exhaustion. While it recharged, I seized the moment to investigate mental health and dental care options available nearby. I took a hard look at my finances, recalibrating them to align with my current work status before heading back outside to tackle the next task of cleaning the pool.
As luck would have it, just as I polished off the pool cleaning, the lawn mower battery was ready to roar back to life. I finished mowing the backyard, transforming the once-neglected space into a tidier haven, even taking the time to gather and condense the woodpile into an organized single location, giving the yard a more harmonious appearance.
I could have deemed the day productive and called it a wrap, but the desire to accomplish just a bit more nudged me forward. I rewarded myself with a refreshing swim in the sparkling pool I had just cleaned, the cool water soothing my senses. Then it was time to experiment with a new recipe that Laura had discovered and planned to prepare. Since the ladies had been busy outfitting the willow's room, I opted to take on the culinary endeavor myself, whipping up a dish of shrimp sauteed with aromatic tomatoes and fresh basil served over egg noodles. Despite the delightful aromas wafting through the air, I found the dish overwhelmingly spicy for my palate; quite a statement coming from me. The intended fragrant balance was completely overshadowed by the fierce kick of red pepper. Perhaps the swap of egg noodles for orzo altered the dish's dynamic, but regardless, I doubt I'll venture into that recipe again.
With the hard work behind me and dinner complete, it was finally time to unwind. I settled down to watch some anime; yes, indeed, anime. Though I had never considered myself a fan previously, I decided to give it a shot. I found myself engrossed in two series composed of exceptionally short episodes, which turned out to be unexpectedly captivating. While I'm unsure if I'll stick with them for the long haul, they provided a delightful escape from the day's endeavors.
Get it together...
...You can do this....
June 28, 2026
A surprise........
The day was normal, except for a visit from Penny, the asset protection investigator from Horn Lake, MS. She will be covering the days my boss has off, switching with Kimberly to ensure we have adequate coverage. Initially, I was on guard, but I quickly realized she is a very competent investigator and is not there to investigate our store; she is just providing support.
The day itself was incredibly hectic, with bursts of customers throughout the entire shift. This store has its issues, but things are slowly improving. Interestingly, Penny mentioned that after observing my technique, she would like me to come to her store to train her front-end workers on my methods. I told her that I am not sure I could teach what I do, as it is part of my character, but I would be more than willing to give it a try.
The great spinning wheels....
The morning unfolded smoothly and without any significant incidents. I successfully navigated my morning routine, ensuring that everything was in order before heading out to work. After making a quick stop for gas, I arrived at the office right on schedule, ready to tackle the day ahead.
However, the evening brought a bit more excitement than I had anticipated. My usual ride-share service was unexpectedly offline for four hours due to scheduled maintenance. Unfortunately, I missed the notification about this disruption, leaving me with an idle evening and no clear plans after work.
I've decided to treat today as my last day of leisurely relaxation before fully immersing myself in my upcoming projects. I'm hopeful that I can pull everything together effectively, and I'm eager to see how it all unfolds. Throughout the day, I faced a few scheduling hiccups at work, but fortunately, those issues were resolved by the time I clocked out. It's crucial for me to ensure that the updated schedule is reflected accurately, so our personal calendars remain in sync and we can avoid any future confusion.
On a creative note, I've begun the exciting process of gathering materials and information for a jewelry-making venture. Although my progress so far has been modest, I'm filled with enthusiasm and anticipation for what lies ahead in this new artistic endeavor.
June 29, 2026
Doing too much........
I often find it difficult to stay within my designated role, and I suspect that management is taking advantage of this tendency. Every day, I often go well beyond my job description, and today is no exception. There have been numerous occasions when I've taken control of the front end, and when the assigned manager was unavailable, I ended up doing her job as well. I know I need to take a step back at some point and see what happens if I do less, but today is not that day. After work at Walmart, I spent some time driving for Lyft, and it went quite well.
Still cannot get it together....
Right now, time feels strange. It seems to be passing slowly, like a snake sliding on glass. This unusual phenomenon is affecting me. In the mornings, I manage to be okay, but I find it hard to meditate or complete my daily activities due to a lack of concentration. By the time I get home in the evening, all I want to do is sleep, but that sleep often eludes me. It truly is a conundrum.
Progressive...
...negativity....
June 30, 2026
One thing after another........
Today, the corporate bosses visited the store, including my manager's boss and his superior. This created a tense atmosphere, but overall, things went fairly well. We had a temporary Asset Protection Investigator (API) in the store while my supervisor was absent, and she quickly demonstrated that she wasn't up to the task.
During the day, there was an attempted theft, which Howard, the security guard, and I were able to intercept. However, after that, our processes and procedures fell apart. We managed to recover about $70 worth of merchandise, but I later found out that the incident wasn't documented, even though the necessary information had been provided. I will handle that documentation at a later time, but it definitely made for a frustrating day.
After logging out of work, I intended to sign into Lyft for the evening shift, only to discover that my phone's battery was below 20%, which is the minimum requirement for driving with Lyft. This was just another annoyance added to an already tough day.
An update....
As we approach the final days of the month, I wanted to take a moment to update you on my latest endeavors; an update I plan to revisit in early next month. I'm thrilled to share that my novel is now complete and officially available on Amazon. It's a huge milestone for me, and I'll be sending out the link shortly so you can easily find it if you're curious to read it. I made a few last-minute revisions toward the end, but I truly believe the story has shaped up beautifully.
In addition to this accomplishment, I've plunged into a new project: a space adventure that dances on the edge of whimsy. The concept fills me with excitement and inspiration as I map out this uncharted territory. However, amidst these creative pursuits, I wish I could say that other aspects of my life are unfolding as seamlessly. Unfortunately, it feels like I'm trying to navigate through a dense fog in every area of my existence; mentally, emotionally, and physically. It's become increasingly clear to me that these elements are deeply intertwined; if I can make strides in one arena, the others will likely follow suit.
The hardest part is the overwhelming uncertainty about my path to success in any of these domains. While I'm attempting to keep my worries at bay, the absence of meditation and physical activities that nurture my mental health is undeniably disheartening. I've noticed that when my physical well-being takes a hit, my emotional state suffers too, creating a frustrating cycle that drains my motivation.
Whenever I do manage to carve out some downtime, I often find myself succumbing to inertia, sitting idly unless I consciously push myself to be productive. I recognize that this is an issue I need to confront, and I'm committed to finding a way to tackle it; I just need to outline a clear plan to get started.
Time to jump to July, 2026