The first image is an AI representation of the first chapter of the New novel. You will hear more about this later this month. As for the second image, I asked an AI interface to give me an image to intrigue me and make me thing. The only criteria that I offered was something not mainstream. This is what it offered. Interesting.

Greetings: June was fun, which I say with all sarcasm in place. I continue to drop into my role of AP Host at Walmart and I am finding it difficult to stay within my own lane in this position. I finished the Novel Awakening. That is available on Amazon and I will post the link later this month. I am battling some personal demons, but I have no doubt that, in the end, I will be victorious.

Time for change....

Today was unproductive. I had very little time to accomplish anything, but I did make plans for tomorrow. The main focus for tomorrow will be preparing for what is set to begin next week. Over the past five weeks, I've concentrated on Walmart, leaving me with little or no time for my personal pursuits. I was able to publish *Awakening*, and I started on my new novel, completing an entire chapter that is now in editing. However, that was my only accomplishment in the past five weeks.

Physically, emotionally, and mentally, I feel adrift. While the idea of a calm sea may evoke serenity, that is not how I feel at all. I'm accustomed to being productive, and when I take time to simply sit back and do nothing, it eventually works against me. This has been my experience for over a month, as I've been exhausted from work. I've fallen behind in my studies and other responsibilities.

I have some oil paintings I want to complete and studying that I need to catch up on. Starting next week, on Monday, I plan to reintegrate these activities into my daily routine. Additionally, I will resume my physical and mental training, which should help me get back on track. As Leone says in *Faded Love*, I am done feeling down. I am determined to take the necessary steps to improve my situation.

I have realized that I cannot go on my scheduled camping trip in August unless I take additional time off work. I also need to get a physical for my commercial driver's license, which requires me to travel to Arkansas. I will double-check tomorrow to ensure there are still appointment slots available so I can take care of that. Regarding the camping trip, I need to figure out a solution.

When I got home in the evening, I sat down to watch one of my shows, then I went to bed but had a restless night's sleep.

Tired....

I have no idea why, but last night was particularly restless; I barely managed to squeeze in a little over three hours of sleep. When I finally woke, a dull cramping discomfort radiated through my midsection, and I find myself growing increasingly weary of this nagging issue. Understanding the problem doesn't provide any relief, but it's something I know I need to address. Strangely enough, despite the extreme fatigue, I remained active and surprisingly clear-headed for most of the day. I even knocked a few items off my ever-growing master list, which felt productive, and I was grateful to discover that Laura had already tackled the cleaning I had planned. It's such a relief when we collaborate seamlessly as a team.

The heat was oppressive today, so I decided to limit my time in my sweltering home office, which lacks air conditioning. Instead, I took advantage of the sweltering day by working on my bell bottoms. I carefully ripped the seams from the waist, managing not to inflict too much damage, which means they're now ready for repairs. I also attended to the cuffs, so once I finish those two tasks, the pants will be all set to wear. Now, I just need to brainstorm where I can actually debut them.

I didn't venture into cooking today, but I stumbled upon several tempting recipes that I might experiment with during my next two days off. One thought that enticed me was heading downtown to snag a giant bag of chicken wings; however, I'm uncertain when I'll carve out the time for that. On my upcoming days off, I plan to make a trip to Arkansas for a physical examination to renew my commercial driver's license. I briefly pondered letting it lapse, but life can be unpredictable, and I'd prefer to remain prepared.

I did make it to Walmart to grab a few essentials, and I even treated myself to a cheap pizza for lunch. It might not have been gourmet, but it hit the spot and satisfied my craving perfectly. I attempted to take a nap afterward, but sleep remained elusive, teasing me with its absence. Instead, I turned to a movie from the Riddick series that somehow slipped under my radar. I was amazed to discover a new installment that I hadn't seen; unfortunately, it didn't quite measure up to the first two films that I hold in such high regard.

Throughout the day, I concentrated on setting myself up for the week ahead. I've crafted a significant plan that I believe will aid in lifting me out of my current slump and restoring a sense of normalcy to my life. As I've mentioned before, everything hinges on addressing a keystone issue within me. I've found it challenging to commit to yoga, meditation, or other daily exercises because everything feels chaotic and jumbled. I understand that if I can get one of those practices to click, the rest will likely fall into place, and that's what I intend to focus on moving forward.

It frustrates me that I struggle to hold onto mental imagery, which complicates other facets of my life, particularly my creativity. I've wrestled with this issue while working on the first chapter of my new novel. It has been swirling in my mind for about a month, and it should have flowed out effortlessly, yet it took me over a week to finally put words to paper, despite having a clear vision of how I wanted the storyline to unfold. I kept finding myself mentally sidetracked.

On a brighter note, I'm fairly certain that what I'm dealing with is not early onset Alzheimer's or dementia. While it may sound humorous, I assure you it's not. My dad was a sycophant and an extremist, and my mom had her own unique quirks; she used to converse with imaginary little creatures around the house. I can't definitively prove that they weren't real, nor have I made an effort to do so. However, I've delved into various articles about what I would describe as a condition, and they all suggest that my difficulties stem from having an abundance of unresolved issues that require proper addressing. I've discovered some techniques that may offer assistance, and I'm eager to give them a try. All I need is for just one of them to work to validate my theory.

Not much to tell....

Once again, I find myself in a familiar situation. My personal time each day is extremely limited. In the mornings, I manage to complete my routine, but I often skip my physical and mental exercises. By the time I get home in the evening, I'm so exhausted that all I can do is sit and watch television. I'm becoming increasingly weary of feeling this way.

Just a little crack, but I will take it....

The highlight of my day was a welcome break from my usual limitations. Despite experiencing pain in my lower abdomen, I managed to do some Tai Chi and a bit of yoga. It feels like a promising start, and I hope things will improve from here. Before heading to work, I didn't have much time, but once I got home, I dedicated some time to my new novel. I believe the storyline is starting to come together, but time will tell.

Now, this is what tired feels like....

Both before and after work felt like a wasteland of time. In the mornings, I was always running late and felt there was no time to accomplish anything. After work, I was just too tired to do anything at all. The downside was that when I lay down to sleep, I was too restless to close my eyes.

The planning stages....

Over the next two days, I've carved out some dedicated time for myself, embracing the opportunity to tackle a long list of tasks. With a day off ahead, I'm feeling motivated but also aware of how much I want to accomplish. Right at the top of my agenda is my DOT physical, which I'll be addressing first thing tomorrow morning. I can't help but feel a mix of anticipation and anxiety about this appointment; it often swings between being a quick, hassle-free affair or a drawn-out process that tests my patience.

At first, I considered traveling to Arkansas for this service, given the limited options in my local area. However, I'm relieved to see that urgent care centers have recently started offering these physicals much closer to home. While the cost at these centers is higher than what I would have encountered at occupational health facilities, the advantage of saving travel time is hard to ignore.

Once I manage to check the physical off my list, I plan to dive into some much-needed cleaning around the house. The microwave is begging for a thorough scrub-down, and the air fryer needs attention as well. In addition, I'm committed to giving the pool some TLC and tackling the yard work that's piled up over time. As a well-deserved reward for all this hard work, I'm looking forward to indulging in a fresh shave, followed by an invigorating exfoliating shower to refresh my spirits.

If all goes according to plan, I hope to carve out moments for meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, and some exercise to keep my mind and body in harmony. I'll also need to take time to sort through my medications, organizing them neatly, and catching up on writing in my journals and blog. If you're reading this, it means I managed to accomplish at least some of these tasks, which is a satisfying thought.

I don't like this at all....

Last night was a restless one for me; I barely managed to get any sleep and was haunted by a series of unsettling nightmares. Normally, I have the ability to lucid dream, taking control of the narratives in my sleep, but last night was different. The dreams were indistinct and lacked any menacing figures or challenges to confront; they instead felt like tedious, melodramatic plays unfolding in my mind. After about four agonizing hours of tossing and turning, I decided to give up on trying to rest. Thankfully, I had the day off, so I planned to catch a nap later to make up for the lost sleep.

I ventured out for my Department of Transportation (DOT) physical, which turned out to be a frustrating ordeal. I had initially toyed with the idea of traveling to Arkansas for the appointment, a suggestion I had made previously, but ultimately chose to go to a nearby urgent care facility. Unfortunately, that decision proved to be less than ideal. The staff there was anything but urgent. Despite there only being two people ahead of me in line, the processing was agonizingly slow, with only one patient being dealt with at a time, making the wait feel interminable.

Once I finally completed the physical exam, my mood had soured considerably. I headed to Walmart next, determined to finish my shopping in order to prepare for some cooking I planned to do. The grocery trip was uneventful, although I could feel the fatigue creeping up on me. When I finally returned home, I desperately wanted to take a nap but only managed to squeeze in an hour of restless dozing. I spent the time prepping ingredients for the meals I intended to cook the following day, but my mind buzzed incessantly, making it hard to find any peace.

As evening settled in, I tried to unwind, but my mental to-do list weighed heavily on me, racing through my thoughts as I lay in bed. The moment I settled down, my mind sprang to life, effectively ruining any chance of a good night's sleep. I tossed and turned for about an hour, struggling to quiet my thoughts. Eventually, I decided to get back up and tackle some of the tasks that had been niggling at me. I cleaned out the microwave thoroughly and gave my air fryer a deep clean, scrubbing away grease and grime that had accumulated over time. I then turned my attention to my journals and blogs, catching up on my writing and documenting my thoughts and experiences from the week.

As the night wore on, I even managed to finalize the bookkeeping for the week, checking off yet another item from my list. To unwind a bit more, I watched a movie, losing myself in the story to temporarily escape the frustrations of the day. It was nearly midnight by the time I started to feel genuinely tired, which was expected given my new schedule. Before finally calling it a night, I took a moment to practice a bit of Tai Chi, allowing my body to stretch and relax, and even performed some Reiki on myself in hopes of fostering some calm energy. Despite how the day may have sounded; frustrating and chaotic; it wasn't all that bad. I still had one more day off ahead of me and a few tasks to finish up, which offered a glimmer of hope for a more productive tomorrow.

Accomplishment! HO!....

I pushed through the day with a sense of confidence, tackling a variety of tasks and efficiently managing my ever-growing to-do list. Although my interactions were primarily limited to my immediate family, I still managed to make significant strides in my responsibilities. One of the key accomplishments was addressing the wasp nests that had started to invade our outdoor space; I handled that situation carefully to ensure safety. Additionally, I completed the monthly maintenance on the air conditioning unit, which involved cleaning the evacuation tubes to ensure it runs optimally during the warmer days ahead.

I also took the time to catch up on my blog and journal entries. Additionally, It felt good to transfer an entire drive's worth of data, which had been on my mind for a while. I dedicated some time to cleaning both the air fryer and the microwave, ensuring they were spotless and ready for future use. This thorough approach to chores created a sense of accomplishment.

That productive start was just the beginning of my day. I decided to experiment with some new recipes that had piqued my interest. I made an impressive four pounds of chicken wings, marinated to perfection, and whipped up about two dozen bacon bombs, which are now a hit in our household. I also cooked some Swai, a mild fish that pairs well with various seasonings. With all these meals prepared, along with the delicious dishes Laura contributed, we should theoretically have enough food to last us throughout the week, which is a great relief.

Unfortunately, due to the unpredictable weather, I didn't have the chance to work on the pool or tend to the yard as I had hoped. However, I have some time off scheduled early next week, which I plan to fully utilize for those outdoor tasks. Among them, I still need to pull out and service the generator, as it starts but runs rather roughly, indicating it needs some attention. I'm determined to take care of that soon.

On the creative front, I was excited to receive my crossword puzzle book today. I immediately started browsing through it, enjoying the challenge and stimulation it offered. Additionally, I made good progress on my new writing website, which is coming along quite well as I work on its layout and content. Amidst all this productivity, I also managed to find some time to meditate, practice Tai Chi, and even indulge in some yoga sessions. I believe this holistic approach is aiding in my recovery, and it feels like a positive turning point for me. Finally, I took the time to reread the first chapter of my new novel, and I'm pleased with how it's shaping up; I feel a sense of satisfaction that I'm on the right track.

Better on the personal front....

I find myself on a journey reminiscent of Dante's Divine Comedy, on the quest for my own metaphorical Virgil to guide me through the complexities of life. Fortunately, it seems that the universe operates on a principle of balance. This morning, before heading into work, I carved out some precious time for myself and successfully tackled a significant portion of my personal to-do list.

My morning routine was rich and fulfilling, beginning with a deep meditation session that allowed me to center my thoughts and gather my energy for the day ahead. Following that, I practiced yoga, flowing through the poses with a sense of purpose and intention, which left me feeling grounded. I then transitioned into Tai Chi, moving through the gentle forms that not only enhanced my physical well-being but also brought me a sense of tranquility. I rounded off my morning with some invigorating exercise, pushing my body while also releasing the tensions built up over the week. After that, I treated myself to a refreshing exfoliating shower that rejuvenated my skin and enlivened my spirit.

With this solid foundation of self-care, I also took a moment to work on my new crossword puzzles. It was a delightful diversion that sparked my creativity and sharpened my mind. Furthermore, I made measurable progress on designing a new website, an endeavor that has me both excited and slightly overwhelmed. All of these activities combined felt like the perfect alchemy to uplift my mental state, especially as I prepared to face the wave of negativity that often greets me at Walmart.

Once I returned home after a long day, a sense of urgency struck me as I remembered that the deadline for my physical submission looms just two days away. Fatigue lingered in my bones, and the day's exhaustion made it difficult to summon the energy to tackle the task at that moment. Nevertheless, I committed to prioritizing this submission first thing tomorrow morning. With a little determination and the right mindset, I'm hopeful that I can get it all done in time.

Blue dabba dee dabba da....

The song "BLUE," a catchy tune that once graced the airwaves, was reimagined by Bebe Rexha into a vibrant new version called "GOOD." Although both songs boast the same infectious beat, the lyrics diverge entirely. I find myself drawn to this remake more than the original, an opinion that might not matter much in the grand scheme of things, but it's been lingering in my mind.

This morning began with a cloud of negativity hanging over me, casting a shadow on my thoughts. Yet, in a surprising turn of events, I managed to summon the determination to tackle my morning agenda and tick off everything on my checklist. I squeezed in some much-needed exercise alongside mental training, which ultimately lifted my spirits and transformed the remainder of my day. By the time I was scheduled to step out of the house, I found myself running about five minutes late; not really a setback considering I was already running fifteen minutes ahead for the week. Thankfully, today marks the final opportunity to make up for it, so I decided to leave work fifteen minutes early, which should help restore some balance to my schedule.

Excitement bubbled within me as I contemplated the day's plans. I've been diving into my crossword puzzle book, which provides an enjoyable escape from reality. To add to the thrill, my long-awaited novel finally arrived, igniting a sense of joy. And with only two days left until I enjoy a well-deserved day off, I'm eager to start plotting out how to make the most of that precious time. It's all wonderfully invigorating!

Even though my day initially unfolded in a rather dark space, I have successfully maneuvered my way to a brighter outlook. The only oddity to note lies in the peculiar transition between the end of today and the dawn of tomorrow, where my dreams took an unusual twist. Typically, I drift into slumber imagining myself battling fantastical monsters; a comforting and exhilarating experience. Often, I find myself amidst the electric energy of a concert crowd for bands like The Pretty Reckless, featuring the captivating Taylor Momsen, or Halestorm, led by the powerful Lzzy Hale. Sometimes, I even share the stage with Miley Cyrus. While some concert dream adventures stand out more than others, they generally transport me to lively venues, where the mundane aspects of daily life melt away in the embrace of music. I find those dreams incredibly soothing.

However, last night was different. After returning home and surrendering to sleep, I entered a domestic dream scenario featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar. Intriguingly, she appeared hungry and ended up breaking into our cozy, rustic home. My wife, ever the generous soul, welcomed her with open arms, seamlessly integrating her into our family life. I can only assume that celebrities from the 1990s and beyond might feel a tinge of jealousy upon crossing into our dreams. Confused upon waking from that unusual domesticity, I drifted back to sleep only to find myself re-entering the same dream world, but this time, Melissa Joan Hart stepped into the picture.

What strikes me as particularly bizarre about these dreams is that they usually echo my daily experiences. A recent news story or a video clip often ignites the creative spark of my nighttime imaginings. Yet, in the case of these two actresses, they hadn't crossed my mind in ages, making their unexpected appearances all the more puzzling.

On a more practical note, I've resolved to add security guard training to my to-do list. The reasons behind this decision will unfold in due time, but I'm eager to explore the opportunity now. Having previously been a security guard, I know the process is relatively straightforward and affordable. Now, it's all accessible online, aside from the necessary fingerprinting, making it an appealing endeavor to pursue once more.

Needing rest....

As I approach the end of my current work cycle, I can definitely feel the weight of exhaustion settling in; both physically and mentally. This morning, I succumbed to the urge to sleep in a bit longer than usual, allowing myself just enough time to tackle the essentials before I had to rush off to work. The moment I returned home later in the day, I felt the need to decompress. So, instead of diving into my overflowing to-do list, I opted to take some much-needed time for myself, which meant I didn't accomplish anything extra today. Still, I'm at peace with that decision; I know I just need to push through one more day, and then I'll be rewarded with two well-deserved days off to recharge.

In terms of productivity, my to-do list is quite lengthy, but thankfully, it feels much more manageable compared to the chaos of last week. One task I'm particularly eager to complete is mowing the lawn; if the weather cooperates, of course. It's been growing quite wild, and I'd love to see it neatly trimmed again. Most of the other items on my list are not weather-dependent, but I do have one task that relies on clear skies: washing the car. It's definitely overdue for a good clean, and I'm hoping for a sunny day to finally tackle that chore. Overall, I'm staying optimistic and focused, knowing that I just have to get through tomorrow.

..and now it is time to rest....

I spent the majority of my day carefully planning for what lies ahead over the next couple of days, and I've compiled a lengthy list of tasks that I need to tackle. A significant number of these tasks will take me outside the house, where I'll need to focus on several crucial areas: the lawn, the garden bed, and the pool. Each of these responsibilities demands a considerable amount of effort and attention to detail. As I added cleaning the car to my growing list, it hit me that the bulk of my first day is likely to be consumed by these outdoor chores.

In addition to my outdoor responsibilities, I also have the pressing task of managing my websites, ensuring that all content is current and functioning properly. To maximize my productivity, I dedicated some time today to create a structured plan that outlines how I can efficiently allocate my time across these various tasks.

As I consider tomorrow night, I can't shake off my concern about getting enough sleep. From past experiences, I have a sinking feeling that I won't be able to stick to my goal of hitting the hay by 10:00 PM. I can already picture myself lying in bed, wide awake, reminiscent of a vintage doll from the 1960s, with my mind racing instead of settling down for the night. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get there and figure it out as it comes.

..working when I am not working....

I had an extensive list of tasks to complete on my day off, but I was determined to tackle as many as possible, which would allow me to enjoy some well-deserved relaxation tomorrow. My day began with mowing the front yard, where I carefully navigated around trees and flower beds, ensuring an even cut. Next, I grabbed the weed whacker to trim the edges and attend to the overgrown areas in the flower bed. The transformation was satisfying, leaving the yard looking neat and inviting.

After that, I turned my attention to the pool, which had accumulated leaves and debris over time. I went through the process twice: first, I used the leaf catcher to remove larger particles, then followed up with the fine-grain attachment, polishing the pool's surface until it sparkled and was crystal clear. Regrettably, I didn't find the time to take a refreshing dip, but I promised myself I would make it a priority tomorrow.

With outdoor chores behind me, I shifted my focus to my car. I started by vacuuming the interior meticulously, making sure to reach under the seats and in every nook and cranny. Once that was done, I detailed the interior, wiping down surfaces and ensuring everything looked spotless. Then, I moved outside and gave the exterior a thorough wash, leaving it shining under the sun.

Next on my agenda was a visit to my insurance website, where I needed to address some rewards tasks that had been lingering for a while. I logged in and completed the necessary steps, but when I glanced at the available rewards, I hesitated to make any selections. I wanted to think it over, so I decided to put that off until tomorrow.

As the day neared its end, I checked on Network Solutions to stay ahead of my website renewal and hosting, which are due soon. I noted that I'd have to put this off as well, intending to call one of their representatives first thing tomorrow. I had a strong feeling that they could help me find a way to significantly reduce my annual bill.

I aimed to wind down and head to bed by 10:00 PM after enjoying one of the iconic Star Wars saga films. However, as I settled in, I found myself unable to drift off; my sleep cycle is typically set for early mornings, making it challenging to fall asleep at that hour. Despite the late-night struggle, I would classify today as a successful and productive day, and I'm looking forward to tackling my plans for another fruitful day tomorrow.

..My thinker is thinking....

Since I completed all my physical tasks yesterday, including meticulously maintaining the lawn and thoroughly cleaning out the pool, I dedicated today to a blend of business and relaxation. My first task involved calling Network Solutions, which turned into quite a marathon conversation spanning nearly two hours. After navigating through a labyrinth of customer service options and troubleshooting steps, I finally managed to resolve the long-standing issues with my account. The highlight of this ordeal was successfully repairing the email address linked to my account; a major victory considering I had been grappling with this problem for almost five years.

Adding to the good news, I negotiated a significant reduction in the operating costs of my websites, including this one, slashing the expenses down to just one-third of the original price. It wasn't a walk in the park, as it involved some back-and-forth discussions, but I have everything mapped out for the upcoming tasks. There's still a considerable amount of work on the horizon, especially with deadlines approaching in September.

Once I settled that important matter, I shifted my focus to reviewing the benefits available through Walmart. I meticulously went through the entire list, ensuring I didn't miss any valuable perks. During this process, I took the initiative to set up a Lyra account, which I believe will provide significant advantages as I navigate future healthcare needs.

These two tasks consumed the bulk of my day, but they felt highly productive.

Later in the afternoon, I decided it was time to engage with my virtual reality headset, which has been gathering dust for far too long. Unfortunately, this attempt turned into a frustrating series of events. I hadn't accessed the setup in quite a while due to a range of other things that had piled up. I dedicated a solid chunk of my afternoon to getting back into my virtual exercise routine, but as soon as I launched the program, it insisted on an update.

That simple request quickly spiraled; it asked for an update to the initial update, and to my astonishment, yet another update followed for the updated update! To add insult to injury, the final prompt indicated I needed to remove all other programs to make room for this one. Given that the program I targeted is decent, and I don't frequently use the others, I reluctantly agreed and cleared them out.

After 90 minutes of wrestling with technical roadblocks, I finally felt ready to dive into an intense cardio workout. Just when I thought I was in the clear, I was prompted to fill out my fitness goals and profile details before proceeding. To top it all off, the program required an annual subscription fee. Since my household already holds a subscription and I encountered no way to access that account, I felt defeated. I removed the headset and placed it back on its stand, calling it a day. The experience was compounded by an upsell attempt for an upgraded headset priced at $600, which I swiftly dismissed.

To wrap up my day, I ventured out to Walmart to pick up some rolls for the week and something new to try for dinner. After browsing the aisles, I chose Healthy Choice steamers, specifically the barbecued beef with vegetables. I was pleasantly surprised by the flavors; it was quite delicious! So much so that I ended up consuming two of them to satisfy my hunger, yet they were still relatively affordable. While enjoying my meal, I decided to unwind with the series "Grimm," allowing myself to relax and thoroughly settle in to conclude my day on a happy note.

..mostly harmless....

The morning unfolded with a delightful flurry of activity as I diligently worked through my extensive checklist. This list comprised a mix of both physical exercises, which invigorated my body, and mental workouts that sharpened my mind. Included in my routine was a challenging crossword puzzle that provided a satisfying mental stretch. To my surprise, I found a little pocket of additional time, allowing me to indulge in an extra three hours of restful sleep before venturing out to Walmart for my shift.

Currently, I'm immersing myself deeply in the creative process. I'm diligently crafting a new novel, while also revisiting an old short story that has been gathering dust. In addition to writing, I am practicing music, an endeavor that allows me to explore various aspects of my artistic self. My dreams, on the other hand, remain elusive and enigmatic, filled with layers of symbolism that I am hesitant to dissect. One recurring dream, in particular, has become a source of frustration for me, as I have yet to achieve lucidity within it. Nevertheless, amidst the chaos, I sense a subtle yet significant shift in my mindset towards a more optimistic outlook on life; a change I truly hope will last for an extended period.

On a different note, I realize I haven't had the opportunity to vent my political frustrations recently, so I'll take a moment to share my thoughts on an upcoming event. Tomorrow, the mr. Trump has arranged a press conference where he is set to announce his controversial claim that the 2020 election was stolen, accompanied by assertions that he now possesses concrete proof. It's particularly ironic that this announcement coincides with his recent financial troubles, including the necessity to pay over $5 million to someone he abused in the past, now proven in court. Simultaneously, it feels as though we are on the brink of financial turmoil, with prices poised to skyrocket due to his ineffectiveness in negotiations.

I understand my tone may come off as a bit snarky, but to be honest, I'm fatigued by the persistent circus of political antics. This leader is vigorously forcing his SAVE America Act, attempting to manipulate the narrative as we approach the 2026 midterms, seeking to attach this bill to as many issues as possible. It's alarming to consider that he seems intent on pushing this agenda onto us, despite the overwhelming public opposition to it. This manipulation appears to be the only strategy the GOP has left to cling to power, especially as it becomes increasingly clear that American sentiment is shifting away from their control. If they were to lose that grip, the fallout could be severe, potentially leading to legal repercussions for some individuals and significant financial consequences for the wealthy elite. And with that, I'll conclude my political rant for now.

..time to tread water....

Despite getting a full night's sleep, I awoke feeling far from refreshed. The familiar fog of fatigue lingered, overshadowed by a dull sense of discomfort. My nightly dreams, which have become a regular feature of my subconscious, played out as they often do, weaving through the threads of my mind. These dreams carry no profound weight but rather act as continual nudges, reminding me of various elements of my waking life that I often overlook or choose to ignore.

There seems to be a randomness to their occurrence; each dream a peculiar assembly of images and scenarios that echo my innermost thoughts. I can't help but speculate that Sigmund Freud might argue that if I were to confront and fulfill those desires, the dreams would soon fade into oblivion. Yet, my relationship with Freud has always been metaphorically strained; we've never really seen eye to eye, not even on a philosophical level.

In the hours leading up to my workday, I had envisioned accomplishing numerous tasks, relishing the time to settle loose ends and engage in some personal pursuits. However, by the time I returned home, the weariness of the day enveloped me like a heavy blanket. Instead of being productive as I had hoped, I surrendered to the allure of the couch and indulged in an episode of *Grimm*. The fantasy world of the show provided a brief escape, a welcome distraction from the perplexities of reality. As the credits rolled, I reminded myself that tomorrow would offer another chance to seize the day.

..Getting there....

I am exhausted, and there's no way to hide that fact. I've been sleeping longer than I should, but I really need the rest. Balancing my job at Walmart during the day with ridesharing at night is making it challenging for me to move forward. Before I started working, I had limited time, but I still managed to accomplish quite a bit. When I got home, all I wanted to do was sit, eat, and relax. So, that's exactly what I did, even though there were several things I could have completed.

..It is hot....

Today was one of those scorching days where the ambient temperature felt nearly unbearable. The heat seems to drain the energy out of everyone around me, leaving a palpable sense of lethargy in the air. This morning, I struggled to find the motivation to get out of bed; the idea of moving around felt like a herculean task. At work, the oppressive warmth became too much for me, so I took a brief nap during my break, hoping to recharge.

I sat in my car, with the air conditioning cranked up to the max, but even that only offered a fleeting sense of relief; the outside temperature was just too high to make much difference. After finishing my shift, I decided to do some rideshare driving to earn a bit of extra cash. However, even while cruising down the highway, I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead, making it hard to concentrate on the road.

In the midst of this relentless heat, I've also started putting together my new round robin project, which is progressing nicely despite the discomfort. I'm optimistic about how things will develop as I continue working on it. It's a bit challenging to focus, but I'm determined to see it through.

..I am a bit pensive....

Both my mornings before work and my evenings after work follow a routine. I manage to get through my daily to-do list, checking off every task for the day. Right now, the most significant thing on my mind is my appointment on Wednesday. I'm not a strong believer in mental health therapy, but I suppose it won't hurt to talk to someone and possibly explore any underlying issues. I'm neither depressed nor in a consistently negative headspace, but I do feel a bit aimless. We'll see what comes of this. Tomorrow is another day.

..The pendulum, yeah, it is swinging....

The morning before work and the evening after work were uneventful. I was just pushing to get through the day. I worked on my new novel and prepared for my upcoming mental health appointment. I feel optimistic and look forward to hearing what the therapist will say. As I've mentioned a few times, I am not depressed and I am not a danger to myself or others; I just feel somewhat numb. I know that much of this feeling stems from the daily rhetoric coming out of Washington, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'd like to say I'm shocked by how many people follow and believe in all this nonsense, but I'm not really sure they do. Every day, I talk to people, and I rarely come across someone who offers their support. When I do, it often seems like they are driving something very expensive. I think that says something, but I'm not quite sure what.

..Observations from a petri dish....

It was a busy day filled with tasks. I hadn't gotten much sleep, so I started my morning by taking care of Laura's needs. After that, I got my oil changed and tended to the front lawn. By the time I finished those chores, it was still only the middle of the afternoon, but the oppressive heat and my lack of sleep had left me exhausted. I set up the computer for tomorrow's meeting, but then I needed to take a break to drink plenty of water and recharge.

..To sleep, perchance to dream.....

At first glance, the title might suggest that I'm under some kind of microscope—after all, why would the creatures in a Petri dish be keenly observing someone? It's a peculiar thought that flitted through my mind, and it feels oddly appropriate for today. Today marked my very first therapy session. I connected with a life coach through *Lyra*, Walmart's mental health initiative, and I must confess, my experience left a lot to be desired.

I understand that this style of communication-based therapy may resonate with certain individuals, particularly those seeking guidance for the first time. However, for someone like me—60 years experienced in life; this approach fell flat. After a rather lackluster 45-minute exchange, the professional's grand takeaway was that I would benefit from practicing radical acceptance. My immediate thought was that anyone who has navigated life's varied landscapes has, at some point or another, grappled with this concept. It's hardly groundbreaking; it essentially pertains to embracing reality for what it is at its core. I had laid this out clearly at the start of our session, yet her final suggestion indicated that she wasn't truly tuned in to my actual insights.

As such, I've decided against continuing these sessions and have opted instead to search for a local therapist for face-to-face interactions. I have an appointment scheduled for Monday morning of next week. While I don't feel I'm teetering on the edge of a crisis, many have wisely advised that there's no harm in expressing what's on your mind. I'm curious to see how this new engagement unfolds.

The rest of my day was largely devoted to self-care. I shared some delightful moments with family, dove into the immersive world of virtual reality, indulged in a bit of writing; flitting between a novel and captivating short stories; and enjoyed several episodes of the intriguing series *Grimm*. With just two workdays standing between me and my next day off, I plan to embrace everything life throws my way with open arms and a calm spirit.

..The personal side, not good.....

I struggled to get things together today, and it only went downhill from there. I felt like I was spinning my wheels in the morning, and by the time it was time to go to work, I was already exhausted—even after taking an extra two-hour nap. I had hoped to gain some momentum, but that didn't happen. My legs and back were aching, making it a challenge to get through the day.

When I tried to get a rideshare after work, there was very little availability, and I only managed to get one ride. I'm not sure if it's just me or if the change in service is causing issues, but I performed much better with Uber. I will need to address this problem in the coming week to see if there's something I can do.

When I got home, it turned into a day of sitting and staring at nothing.

..A day in the life.....

The best way I can describe my current state is that I feel like I'm floating through life, suspended in a delicate balance. This morning, I tackled my extensive to-do list for the week, meticulously checking off each task one by one. It felt satisfying to see the progress, and by evening, I was finally able to sit back, unwind, and relish that feeling of accomplishment. Overall, it was just an ordinary day without any surprises, yet there was a quiet contentment in the predictability of it all. I know it may seem silly to wish for something unexpected to happen, but here we are, craving little sparks of spontaneity in our daily routines.

Despite the sense of achievement from completing my planned tasks, there was a lingering urge to delve into my creative pursuits. I didn't venture beyond my set agenda for the day; I didn't work on my novel or sort through any of my files that needed attention. However, I did take a moment to fire up Spotify and finally make some long-overdue adjustments to my playlists. Music has always been a source of inspiration and relaxation for me, and organizing my collection felt like a celebration of that passion. But that's a different topic altogether, one that requires its own exploration.

As much as I enjoy the convenience of streaming music, I find myself grappling with the idea of funding it. There's nothing I dislike more than getting into a groove with timeless bands like Pink Floyd or The Beatles, feeling the rhythm take over, only to have my musical experience abruptly interrupted by ads. It's interesting to note that this frustration doesn't bother me as much when it comes to video services. I can watch shows and movies without the same annoyance, but when it comes to music, those interruptions drive me absolutely crazy.

Part of me wonders if I should just invest in an MP3 player, loading my favorite songs onto it so I can listen to them on shuffle without interruptions. It's a tempting idea, one that brings back memories of simpler times. Or maybe, I could take a step back and stop overthinking the situation altogether. Accepting things as they are sounds nice, but deep down, I recognize that it doesn't seem like the best fit for my mindset right now.

Looking ahead, tomorrow marks a day off for me, providing the perfect opportunity to recharge and shift my focus. Amid my relaxation, I know I need to start preparing for my upcoming appointment on Monday. The anticipation is mixed with uncertainty; I'm not entirely sure if I'm looking forward to it or if it's just a matter of preparing myself mentally. I guess time will tell how I truly feel about it.

..Still fighting the ouch.....

Today was supposed to be a refreshing day off, filled with a mix of tasks and relaxation, but my plans quickly unraveled due to the unexpected rain. My agenda had included washing the car, giving the lawn a much-needed trim, and tackling a few other chores around the house. However, the persistent downpour put a damper on those outdoor plans. To make matters worse, the increased humidity rendered it impossible for me to treat the house for wasps, which had become a concern lately. To effectively manage the wasp situation, I needed a dry environment to spray every entrance with both wasp spray and our homemade peppermint deterrent solution; unfortunately, today was not cooperating with my intentions.

Despite the disappointment of my initial plans falling apart, I refused to let it bring me down. Instead, I decided to channel my energy into tidying up my personal space upstairs. I took the opportunity to sort through my overstuffed closet, rediscovering pieces of clothing I hadn't worn in ages. Amidst the organization, I stumbled upon a quirky outfit that made me reminisce about the 1960s band, The Monkees. It was a bold choice, and I couldn't wait to see the reactions of my coworkers when I don this fun ensemble tomorrow; it's certainly going to be a shift from my usual style.

With the outdoor tasks sidelined, I quickly realized I hadn't prepared a backup plan. Instead of succumbing to disappointment, I embraced the change in pace and took the time to unwind. I treated myself to a rejuvenating 90-minute session that combined intense exercise, calming yoga, and focused Tai Chi. This blend not only lifted my spirits but also provided a wonderful physical release. Feeling invigorated after my workout, I joined Laura in wrapping up Willow's birthday present, which turned out to be an enjoyable team effort. Later, we whipped up a classic dinner of grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, a comforting meal that truly hit the spot.

In the midst of my day, I received a thoughtful email from Rachel informing me she would be passing through Memphis next week. She suggested we catch up over lunch, but I politely declined, expressing that I wasn't quite in the mood for socializing this week. It felt right to prioritize my need for some quiet time.

One of my smaller tasks that unfortunately fell by the wayside today was doing my nails. Still, I did find the time to carefully trim them, so I consider that a minor victory. I also noticed that I hadn't slept well the previous night; a recurring theme on my days off. Seeking a remedy, I opted to head to bed early this evening. By midnight, as I nestled into my sheets, I finally drifted off into a restful slumber, which I'm more than happy to chalk up as a win in the course of my day.

..Prep time.....

There is very little to say about today because it was preparation time for tomorrow. I did the absolute basics for the day and checked off a few things, but that was it.

..Today is the day.....

I've been grappling with the decision of whether to document this particular chapter of my journey, weighing the pros and cons in my mind. As of this morning, I've come to a resolution: I'm going to share my experience openly, heart on my sleeve, and let the world perceive me as they will. I've made a deliberate choice to pursue therapy, even though I can't quite put my finger on a singular reason why I feel the need for it. There's a vague sensation of imbalance, but I'm not in a place where I would ever harm myself or pose a risk to anyone else. I thought, why not give it a try, right?

Initially, I commenced this journey by utilizing a free counseling service offered through Walmart, which pairs you with a counselor for remote sessions. Unfortunately, that experience did not go as I had hoped. They assigned me to a life coach who quickly launched into a discussion on radical acceptance theory. While it's a valuable concept; one I've been practicing for more than a decade; it felt presumptuous for her to suggest it as the solution before even getting to know me. In an instant, I decided to end that engagement. The impression I got was that she seemed somewhat constricted within her own understanding, and I wasn't interested in conforming to a strategy that didn't suit my needs.

Today, I had a much more promising encounter with a local therapist from a well-regarded organization. This therapist came highly recommended, and from our very first conversation, I appreciated her candor and direct approach. Over the course of our hour-long session, we traversed a wide array of therapeutic theories and methods. I left with a mixed bag of feelings when she candidly expressed her uncertainty about whether she could truly offer the assistance I might need; or if I even needed help at all.

I pride myself on being incredibly self-aware. My routine includes a variety of mental and physical wellness practices: morning yoga, Tai Chi, lucid dreaming exercises, and other mental techniques that help me maintain my balance. By the end of our session, we agreed to have one more meeting after some reflection to explore possible paths we could take together moving forward. The possibility was raised that perhaps a psychiatrist could provide better insight, but I know that route often leads to a prescription pad rather than understanding and therapy. Personally, I'm not feeling mentally disturbed; I'm not struggling to sleep, fluctuating in weight, or battling depression. The issues weighing on my mind tend to be external and beyond my control, such as the current political climate and governmental affairs. Maybe, just maybe, I should continue with my existing practices and see where they lead.

That essentially encapsulated my day. The downside of having an early morning appointment is that by the time the workday wrapped up, I found myself utterly depleted.

..Too tired to pop.....

I've been sleeping quite well lately, getting a solid amount of rest each night, yet I still find myself feeling inexplicably tired and lethargic throughout the day. It's puzzling because I can't pinpoint a specific reason for this persistent fatigue. While I've noticed that my muscle pains have been gradually diminishing, I often struggle to muster the energy to get moving and engage in my usual activities. It doesn't seem to stem from depression or any identifiable issue; it feels more like a cloud of fatigue that I can't shake off.

I have acknowledged that there have been some changes in my lifestyle recently, but I'm uncertain whether these adjustments are significant enough to warrant the level of tiredness I'm experiencing. On a positive note, I did manage to accomplish a task today: I completed the August template ahead of schedule. I realized that by doing so, I won't have to rush through it on Saturday, which is a relief since I initially forgot about the deadline. I believe in celebrating the small victories, so I'll take my wins where I can!

..Data project.....

I eagerly awaited the arrival of my new earth tiller, and when it finally came in the mail, I wasted no time assembling it the moment I got home. The tiller appears to be well-constructed and robust, and I can hardly contain my excitement to put it to work in my garden. As I stare at it, I'm already imagining the fresh, tilled soil and the vibrant plants that will soon thrive in my flowerbed.

Currently, my primary focus, however, remains my extensive data project. I've been diligent in organizing a massive collection of approximately 1,600 files. It feels overwhelming to think about sorting through each one individually, but I'm tackling it one file at a time. Every day I manage to check even a few files off my list brings me a sense of accomplishment, which helps energize me despite the monotony of the process. At this moment, life feels a bit drab, as there isn't much excitement on the horizon, but I'm ready to embrace whatever tomorrow brings.

On a brighter note, I've successfully resolved my ongoing issue with Lyft. I submitted all the necessary documents and contacted customer support, and now I should be back on the road by morning, ready to make use of their services again. Nevertheless, amidst resolving that issue, I can't shake the feeling that various other challenges are piling up, creating a sense of weight on my shoulders. It's as if I'm navigating through a fog, feeling slightly out of control. I'm hopeful that soon, everything will start to align, and I can regain a clearer path forward.

..A day, just a day.....

I woke up much earlier than I had planned this morning, the soft glow of dawn creeping through the curtains. With the world still hushed and quiet, I figured I might as well make the most of the unexpected early start. However, I quickly found myself struggling to muster any motivation. For a couple of hours, I sat there, staring blankly at my computer screen, trying to find my rhythm for the day. It didn't help that I was battling a persistent migraine that made everything feel too bright and loud, creating a sense of discomfort that lingered.

Thankfully, the new headphones that Laura got for me proved to be a godsend. They were wonderfully effective at blocking out the ambient noise that seemed to echo in my head. To create a more calming environment, I turned off all the lights in the room, leaving just one monitor on. I adjusted that monitor to a lower resolution and dimmed the brightness settings to accommodate my sensitive eyes.

After about four long hours, the migraine finally began to subside, allowing me to feel somewhat normal again. With my head feeling clearer, I decided it was time to tackle some overdue outdoor chores. I spent the next several hours working in the front yard, the fresh air invigorating me as I took on the task of mowing both the front and side lawns. Miraculously, I managed to get both yards done on a single battery charge. It felt satisfying to see the neatly trimmed grass, and I even completed the edging with the weed whacker. Just as I was finishing up, the second battery ran out of juice, marking the perfect end to my yard work.

By then, another four hours had flown by, and I felt accomplished enough to call it a day outside. I decided to make a quick trip to Walmart to pick up a few essentials, and I offered to grab dinner for the family as well. Laura had placed an order with Kentucky Fried Chicken, so I swung by to pick it up. Unfortunately, the quality of the chicken left much to be desired. The crispy chicken turned out to be neither crispy nor juicy, which made me wonder if they were just having an off day or if this lack of quality was becoming their new norm.

After finishing dinner, I settled in for a relaxing evening and decided to binge-watch the conclusion of *Picard*. This was my second time watching the series, and even though I already knew the plot twists and outcomes, I found it surprisingly enjoyable. It filled the time and provided a nice escape from the day's earlier challenges. As I prepared for bed, I reflected on the day, knowing that tomorrow would usher back in the routine of work for another four days, and I felt ready to face whatever came next.

..So, rejection huh?.....

This morning unfolded in a rather delightful manner. I was jolted awake by the unmistakable sound of a cat caterwauling; its plaintive cries bouncing off the walls, desperately trying to rouse the household from slumber. Despite the fact that no one else seemed to share the urgency of its call, I felt compelled to respond. This early start granted me a precious head start, allowing me to dive into my to-do list with renewed vigor. I managed to check off every item and even carve out time for an extensive yoga session, a brisk exercise routine, a serene Tai Chi practice, and some much-needed meditation. Though I didn't have a moment to set up my tablet with my new headphones; a minor inconvenience; I was propelled forward by the momentum I had created. I hit the ground running, arriving at work just in the nick of time, ready to take on whatever challenges the night had in store.

Reflecting on the morning, it felt like a pendulum swinging between order and chaos, a delicate balance that I was surprisingly able to maintain. I was quite impressed with my ability to keep a positive attitude and mood throughout the entire ordeal, even when faced with moments of difficulty. On top of that, my ridesharing experience was remarkably better than it had been in recent days. All in all, I was feeling quite buoyant and encouraged.

However, the mood shifted when I returned home and checked my email. Recently, I had reached out to a mental health professional; not because I was struggling with any particular issues, but simply to have someone to converse with about my thoughts and feelings. This evening, I received an unexpected message informing me that she had decided to remove me from her client list, believing she wasn't equipped to assist me effectively. Fortunately, I don't tend to take such rejections to heart, a fact for which I'm grateful. Still, I found myself pondering how one ought to respond to a therapist's rejection. In hindsight, the situation may seem amusing, but in that moment, it felt anything but humorous.

As I considered her perspective, I understood her rationale. Working in the realm of mental health can be complex, particularly when it comes to engaging with clients who have a background steeped in psychological theories. When I say "all the theories," I refer to the most well-known ones; she and I share highly similar educational backgrounds, though hers leans slightly more specialized. My own training is broad, encompassing both Freudian concepts and several facets of Jungian theory, which likely makes me a challenging individual to work with at times.

After some thoughtful meditation on the matter and discussions with her supervisor, she felt that we were simply not a good fit. In her message, she kindly suggested that I explore her colleagues or perhaps consider starting anew with another therapist. I have to admire her for recognizing her limitations and being honest about them. As my wife would probably concur, I can be a bit of an acquired taste. It's not a matter of arrogance; rather, it's just the way I am.

August 2026 is here, time to take a peek