Greetings: The month of April was an extremely difficult month. The world has gone crazy, and the country has gone crazy, but doubly so. Regardless of how hard I pushed, I could not stay ahead. There were challenges to overcome, and goals they refused to be met. As a result, I do not have my 5 images ready for the top of the page, only the one, and it is from a class a long time ago. But I am still working on them. As of the third, I don't know when they will be ready. But we shall see. The class here was a dystopian future where all men have been killed off by a virus. The professor was a bit weird. The month of May is a time of growth, and I am hoping that that holds true.

UDPATE: 5/9/2025 The new images have been added.

Keep on rolling...

Some say that if you are going through hell; it is best to keep moving. That way, maybe you can get out of hell before the devil knows you're there. I know it's a country song and it is corny as hell, but that is kind of the way that I am running things right now. I have not felt well all week, and things are just backing up at work. I did have an interview this week with one of the rideshare corporate offices about doing an on-site supervisory position, but they are still working on that program and who knows when I will hear from them for good or for bad. I am tired this week and I am just ready for it to be over. I went home to eat Chinese food and relaxation. We have not had Chinese in quite a while and it is just as good as I remember even if it is pricey for the three of us. After tomorrow, we move into the weekend and whatever that will bring.

To sleep, perchance to dream...

I was originally going to get all thoughtful and poetic, but I'm not really in the mood. I got back to the house and I didn't want to do anything other than go to sleep. I briefly considered taking a nap, but I think that would have worked against me. I fought the fatigue and stayed up until my normal time and then I headed off to bed. Right now life is a bit boring and the only real interesting thing I did today was look up how to give myself a professional French manicure. I'm going to add that to the list for this weekend and see if I can get to it. My nails need some serious work. I wanted to finish out the artwork for the month of May, but I was not in a creative mood. So I shut down the artwork and I shut down the novel and I decided it would be a good day to do nothing.

That was unexpected...

I started out with some intense plans of getting things done outdoors, including building a new rail for the front porch area in building 2 planters, but the evil that is the rain foiled me. Early in the morning, it was coming down like cats and dogs. When the sun finally broke the horizon, the ground was saturated. That means that I could not even get the lawn mowing done today. So I had to turn my thoughts inward, and I did the interior stuff on my list. I did get the down pipe sealed. And we have a fan and dehumidifier taking care of the water. As long as that pipe holds, I've got another project where I get to re-tile the bathroom. I spent most of the day working on my novel and doing a few other things around the house.

Let's do this...

When I was proofreading the work portion of the blog for today, it confused me. But I am going to leave it stand as it is because it stands as a monument to my mental state right now. I'm not saying that there's anything negative about it, only that it is all over the place and I'm trying to pull those tendrils in so that I can gain a little bit more control.

It did not rain today, but the grass was still a little damp. Even with the extra moisture I was able to get out and mow the front lawn and the sides of the house. There is no way that it could have gone another week without being done. Tarzan and Jane would have been setting up house. So I pushed through and the new electric mower did a pretty good job. As long as I was at it, I treated the front yard for moles. That has been on my list for a couple of weeks now. I trimmed back the excess tray in the corner, and I did the weed whacking. Usually, that is enough for a single day. But I was very lazy yesterday, so there is more to come.

After my conquest of the jungle in front of the house, I turned to more practical matters. I did a good job cleaning the car and it is ready for work this week. I took the extra time and cooked ribs in the oven and they came out excellent. Willow said that they are a little bit dry, but I don't see it. Then it was on to something that has been on my list forever. Yesterday, I took the time to get my passport photo done, and I unpacked it today to make sure that it met the specifications required for my passport. It does and now it is time to make the appointment. The final outdoor thing that I did today was the Jeep. I charged up the battery, started the old girl up, and double checked everything. Then I put it up for sale. We shall see what happens with that.

There are a few things that I did not get done this weekend that are digging at me. I want to get some of the seeds planted and I want to get the rail done for the front of the house. But there's only so much I can do with the time that I have. By the time I finished with the Jeep, I was exhausted, so it was time to go inside and get my nails painted. Sparkly purple this week. I wanted to do a French manicure, but I do not have the tools or the Polish. I looked on Amazon, and there are kits available, so maybe I will treat myself one of these weeks. We shall see.

I ended my day deep in the novel, and it is coming along. I hit another chapter where things just don't make sense and I'm going to have to do an entire rewrite, but these kind of hiccups are expected. I'm still making headway, and that is what counts. I was in bed right on time and tomorrow is another day.

Fighting fatigue ...

I was up in plenty of time and running right on time before I went to work, but the day dragged. I worked right to the limits of my clock, and I even took the time to stop by the Chevy dealer and talk to them about getting the spark repaired, but by the time I got home I was exhausted. I also believe that I am fighting the third migraine in two weeks and that is not a good thing. I wound up coming home and staring at a wall for a couple of hours. I had a few things that I wanted to get done this evening, but I could not bring myself to do any of them. So I took the attitude that tomorrow is another day and I rolled with it. The only extra thing that I did do is I checked out a staffing service because of a situation that happened on Uber. I met a branch manager for a staffing company, and I checked out the company but they seemed to be a minimum wage staffer. Not my cup of tea. I have a reminder to myself that I want to find a way to get my forklift license. I'm going to keep mentioning that until I get it done because I don't want to forget it. I was in bed right on time and hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Still tired, but okay...

It was a tiring and mundane day. I did nothing before work because I had very little time. And then, I got home late, did the dinner thing, and relaxed before bed. I could not bring myself to do anything extra.

Mid-Week and rolling...

This was a much better day even if it did get off to a rough start. I did not have time to do anything other than eat breakfast before heading out. I took a break mid-day to check the Spark. I was hoping that the Spark was low on transmission fluid and that was what was causing the issue. Unfortunately the transmission is not made to be user-serviceable. So we are back to dropping the car off on Friday to be repaired. On a similar note, I have figured out that I am an idiot. Or, at the very least, I have (temporarily) lost my ability to think both on a linear level, and logically. We have been fighting a water leak in what we thought was the upstairs bathroom. This past weekend, I attempted to plug that leak and today, I found more water. I was preparing a plan to tear apart most of the walls and ceilings between point A and point B. Then I inspected the water. It is not coming from the pipes, but from a leaking connection on the commode. Talk about almost making a hell of a mistake.

I ate dinner, then it was time for an early sleep because I have several very early morning reservations tomorrow. I also watched the end of the series The Orville. The last two episodes were unavailable last time I watched the series. Now I know how it ends.

Beginning a plan...

I am not feeling 100% myself. Truth be told, I am facing a new level of frustration because I am treading water and cannot seem to get ahead. That being said, I have started to formulate a plan to buckle down and resolve that issue. I don't know how well that's going to work, but I'm going to give it the best that I can.

Before work, I had very little time so the only thing that I did was set up the library for processing this weekend. This is one of the final big things on my long term list. Don't get me wrong, there are still quite a few large projects on there, but this is one of the largest. I have more than half a million books and I have to look at each one of them. The sad thing is, I have read a significant portion of these and forgotten them. I have to be careful about going down the rabbit hole when I come across something interesting. I'm not going to tackle this project like I have the last few where I put 100% of my effort into it, because that would become too stressful. But I am grabbing some of them and putting them to the side because I want to read them or read them again. I have used audio books for so long that I have almost forgotten what it is like to really read and I want to start that habit back up. At the same time, I want to set my tablet up to play audio books so that I can take the tablet to the gym to make the experience a little more pleasurable. I have gotten to the gym twice this week, but I need to get that number up to five times a week. But that is another part of the story.

I have gotten several dozen emails asking me about the artwork that people have come to expect at the top of each month. I do have 5 pieces that I have worked on for the past 30 days that are sitting there on the editor. I have put on my list for this weekend to get them taken care of and get them in place. I am becoming very self critical. But I promise you, they will get up this weekend.

After work I made a conscious choice that I am going to double back. I have wanted to run a midnight shift for a while now to see what kind of rides are available. So I hit the house, watched a show, ate dinner, and I was in bed before 3:00 PM. The intent is to roll out around midnight and see how the overnight runs are. I need to tighten up my schedule so that I can get ahead. I had planned on doubling up on the ride share this week, but the requirements of Uber did not leave any time for Lyft. This cuts into my ability to get ahead on some of the extra stuff that would get us ahead and it also disables my ability to get the fun stuff. I have a preliminary plan for next week, but it is going to make life very hectic and I have to figure out exactly how I'm going to handle it. Tomorrow morning, we have to drop off the Spark for service and get a rental. If we can get that car fixed, things might get a little less stressful and that would be nice.

I finished up the header pictures, and I wanted to play with some of the new toys that I got for my 3D software. The standard wire mesh is the Eve character, and the textures for the skin are stock images. But the armor and the weapon are new assets to the program. The background is flat standard. I had a little trouble wrapping the face around the wire frame, but I think that I was able to tuck in all the problems.

We can do this...

I had to cut off work early so that I could meet Laura at the Chevy dealership and get her car turned in for a potential transmission repair. Once that was done, I took her over to get the rental car and I headed back to the house, but not before some serious frustration dealing with an oil change.

First, I headed over to valvoline, and for the third time in a row, they had run out of the Standard Oil. On the previous two occasions, had just sucked it up and got the next level up. This time, all that they had left was the extremely good stuff which is extremely expensive. I was not going to fall for it this time and I headed over to the other valvoline location. Guess what. They had the same problem. I took a deep breath and went to jiffy Lube. I am not going to make that mistake again. The customer service at jiffy Lube is questionable, at best. And I have no doubt that valvoline is trying to pad their numbers. They have run out of the main oil on multiple occasions? A company that fails to maintain their supply line does not stay in business for a long time. And they never bring up the fact that they are out of your chosen oil until they have you in the Bay with the hood open, ready to rock'n'roll. I will probably just let it go, but this is a very bad way to do business. I wound up paying $100 for an oil change and that is unacceptable. This weekend, I have to find out exactly what I need to get to do the oil change at home. I'm sure that I can buy the oil in bulk as well as the filters. It is something on my list to research. And while I am doing that, I should look at the other vehicles as well. The other cards don't need it as often as I do, but it would be a good idea.

Back at the house I was already feeling lethargic. But I was only feeling lethargic because I had already been up for more than 12 hours. I ate a meal and watched a show and then I took a nap that did not go well. I had the most unusual dream that my wife left me for, of all people, Flava Flave. And while he watched, my wife and daughter were hunting me for sport in the woods. It was not a restful sleep.

When I got up, I was not feeling rested, but my brain was operating properly so I finished up the artwork for the top of the page and one of the extra ones that I have for today. Of course, you have seen all of those if you are paying attention. Other than that, I set up my list for the weekend and it is a big one. I have some significant projects that have to get done before Sunday night rolls around. I am feeling very frustrated and impotent within my own life. I am staying away from the news, but there are still little things that trickle in. I cannot escape the way of the world while I am pulling people around the city and they want to talk about the idiocracy that we are facing right now. Uber has adjusted the compensation by 5%, however with the change of available drivers for multiple reasons, the rides have decreased by 5% and makes everything equal out. I have to get ahead, and this weekend I have a plan to put into place that may do just that. It will require some sacrifice and a bit of hardship, but only in the short term. I just need a single win to let me feel like I am in control again. I plan on making biscuits and gravy this weekend, but I don't think that's going to be enough to offset the negative aspects of the current environment.

I have an idea and I am playing with different aspects of darkness within the light. The wire frame is eve again, and the dress is a stock piece. The background is a severely modified version of a forest. The key to this image was the filters for a look that is described as Noir.

Someone said there would be cake...

There isn't really any cake. And nobody said that there would be. I just had No title for this paragraph that would come to mind. So I pulled something out of obscurity, just for fun. So if you have cake, go ahead and eat it, and I will sit here without any.

I started the day quite early and without a significant amount of sleep. My sleep habits have been, at best, questionable lately. I am hoping that this is just a bit of frustration because I cannot get ahead, and it will resolve itself as things come into line. But I started in on my list and I was doing pretty well until my phone rang.

The one thing that I was not expecting on a Saturday morning was spending an hour on the phone with a right wing radical Friendamy. If you are unfamiliar with that term, it is a friend that is an enemy at the same time. I received a call across the Facebook messaging system from Emily in Illinois. She just needed somebody to talk to and justifiably. She hasn't had the best time lately and I think she just needed an ear. But to be honest, regardless of who it is, I would rather give an hour of my time and listen to a story then read an obituary. After that conversation, it actually did not take the wind out of my sails. And I was right back on game.

I pushed through my giant list of things to do and I got e-mail caught up, including the spam folder which had more than 1000 emails in it. I went across the job boards and there is a new scam out there. There are some very interesting jobs that you fill out an application for and it automatically puts you on a mailing list for another job board. The actual jobs do not exist. It is very annoying, and I am starting to get very tired of these vampires that are taking advantage of job seekers. After I finished with the job boards and filled out about a dozen applications for jobs that looked promising, I had more than 100 advertisements in my e-mail. Isn't that amazing? On the same note, there is a local meet up with face to face contact, just across the border in Mississippi on Wednesday. At this point, I have every intention of attending even though it is almost at my bedtime. We shall see how the week rolls.

Then, came the broken car. Willow's car would not start, but thankfully it was something simple and I put it on a charger and that resolved the issue. It was a light that was left on so it is not an underlying electrical issue and everything should be OK. While I was working on her car, we removed the wasp nests that had gotten under the hood. I've never seen that one before. Then it was on to the rest of the day.

The big thing for the weekend was a project that should have taken about 15 minutes. I had to fix the leak in the lower bathroom. It should have been simple, where I remove, obtain, and replace a hose. But nothing ever goes as planned. Even though the hose needed to be replaced, that is not what was leaking. It was the fill valve. And because of the way that the commode is situated, it is very difficult to get to. So the 15 minute project turned into a three hour project, which was kind of annoying. But it is fixed and it does not seem to be leaking anymore. That was the goal.

the next project was cleaning the vacuum cleaners. They have been long overdue for cleaning of the filters. It took quite a bit, but I got that out of the way, and it knocks another large project off of the list.

By the time all of that was done, it was time to give him some relaxation before the end of the day. I sat and watched a movie and Laura cooked fried chicken for dinner. It was very good. To Morrow, I have to prep for the week ahead and go from there. Toward the end of the day, while watching my movie, I fired up my 3D software and did the image above. It was relatively easy because I'm getting very used to using the wire frame images and wrapping the skin around them. The concentration for this image was the background. If I get a ring light, I might be able to do a short film based on one of my short stories. Just an idea that I am kicking around. I'm working on trying to get a release for my creative outlet. Saw him kicking around a few ideas.

Clearing up some stuff...

I spent the morning catching up on emails, writing, and working with data. I did this until the sun came up and then took care of the Kia so that Laura could take it to work for the day. I checked on the Jeep and of course the battery is dead again. But I did not have time to do anything about that today. I double checked the bathroom and it looks like that issue is resolved, and then it was on with the rest of the day. I was working on my backlog stuff most of the day, and I spent a significant amount of time trying to get Ancient operational. It took longer than three hours, but I finally got the settings to take and now I can start working on the site. I went through all the job sites a second time and I put in a bunch of applications, and the entire time I ran silly movies in the background. I am going to count this as a positive day even though I didn't get a whole hell of a lot done. I was in bed, right on time, by 5:00PM.

Going to be a boring week...

Before I went to work this morning I managed to get my new e-mail for the personal website set up in outlook. That is something that I have been fighting with for a very long time and it is finally done. I have no idea why I put that on my list for the morning, but it worked out well. When evening rolled around I made myself a baked potato, watched “police academy” and got ready for sleep. I know that it is a parody, but that has got to be one of the silliest movies ever made.

There is not going to be a lot to tell on the personal front this week because I am working in a very structured environment. Every day I have a specific goal for the morning and the evening and they are nothing significantly intense. This morning it was trying to set up the outlook e-mail and this evening it was as simple as dragging my white board across the room and putting it into place. Both of them did not even require neurons. Outlook, I finally read the directions and followed them, and moving the board was nothing but muscles. Then it was time for bed.

Home and list...

I woke up almost 45 minutes late and I was hard pressed to get out the door. I logged in right on time, but I did not get anything done in the morning. In the evening, I made significant progress and with a few more rounds on ancient, I will have the site up and running. Unfortunately, that took up most of the afternoon and it was time for bed before I knew it. So it is just another boring day.

Darkness looms...

A bit of a trigger warning here, some of today is dark, but please do not read into it because that is not the intent. It is neither foreshadowing nor a warning. Strictly an observation.

First things first, interesting parts of the day. I made it out the door in the morning right on time, and I even had a little time to start going through my Bob Ross collection. But aside from just making sure that the files were good, I didn't have any time to do anymore of a deep dive. Then it was off to work and it was a disappointing experience. I explained that above and I'm not going to go back into it.

One interesting portion of the day is that my final run for the day before the bottom dropped out of the ride market, was dropping the young lady off at Shelby farms. She just wanted to be dropped off right in the middle of the park and she was going to get her run on. I point it out that she did not have a bottle of water with her. She told me to mind my business. I agreed and I hope I don't see her in the news passed out in the woods somewhere with dehydration. She admitted that this was her first time doing the forest run. I don't think she was ready for it but it is not my place to judge the lifestyles of other people. After I dropped her off, I sat and watched the man made lake for a little while to see if I got another ride, which I did not. I watched an older couple unfold and launch a couple of portable canoes. They were so cute together.

Then it was home to get some food and relax a little bit. That was the plan and the plan failed miserably. But not really miserably, because life went off on a weird tangent. Yesterday, I had a weird dream about a swimming pool and I considered how nice it would be if we still had the pole. Today when I got home, the wife suggested a pool. The daughter agreed to buy the pool and to make a Long story short, we went to Sam's Club and bought 1 which is now in the garage to be set up this weekend. Talk about a hard left turn. A spontaneous purchase there was something that could turn out very good, but it's going to take a lot of work.

Now for the dark portion of this entry. This is not a warning, or even an indication of a negative influence on my life. It is an observation from a third party view. In my lifetime I have lost no less than 5 friends to suicide. I have never understood the ability to do that to yourself. Especially when I consider those people and how their lives were before they decided to end them. None of them was terribly hard off and they were just at negative points in their lives. But this morning, there was an accident on I-40 that involved a tractor trailer that had hit a small car and then jumped over the middle barrier and landed on its side across the roadway. As I scooted around the accident, there was a stray dark thought about the little car that was involved because from the damage, the driver is having a very bad day and isn't going to have anymore. The dark thought was that it was a good way to go. It was only a stray thought and it only lasted a moment, but in retrospect I find it quite disturbing. Then I tracked back going down the rabbit hole and I realized that I've had thoughts like this all my life. It is an edge of darkness that sits within us all that makes us fearless, but not in a good way. I wonder if it is part of the human condition, or if it is something that only people like me get to hold on to. I realized that a big part of this is working on my horror stories. I have to put myself in situations where I can relate to my characters and some of my characters are quite dark. It deserves investigation, but not right now. From an empathetic point of view, I am way too open and raw to the world around me right now and I do not like it. I'm going to blame a lack of meditation, and very minimal yoga. I am far from the center and I have to fix that this weekend along with everything else.

Very tired now...

I was out of bed a little later than anticipated, but I was able to bounce back in the morning and quickly get into motion. I did not have time to get anything done and I did not set up my morning last night. That hurt and I'm going to make sure that I do not make that mistake again. I stopped by the Chevrolet dealer on the way home to check on the Spark, and they had no information. They were having some kind of problem tracking down the mechanic who is working on it. It is getting very frustrating. But I headed home, we made a decision about the rental car and we are going to extend that for a week, and I set to decompress before I went to bed. It was a frozen pizza day. I have to remember to put my big round pizza on the shopping list so that I can have that Sunday. Granted, I have to run out this weekend and get some of my medication supplies, and I could pick it up then if I forget to put it on the list. That is assuming I don't forget to pick it up. The week is almost over and I am ready for tomorrow. I am hoping that I have made at least close to enough money to be able to take the weekend off and work on the yard and the pool. That would be nice.

My big thing right now is texture maps. I am trying to get the skin tones correct in different environments. This is the standard Eve matrix and modifications using different tonal qualities. I think I have it.

Don't stop...

After a decent day at work, I could have come home and relaxed. But that's not what I did. I gave myself enough time for a cup of coffee and broke out the lawn mower. I was able to finish the front yard and both side yards, as well as half of the backyard. This leaves me free this weekend to work on the pool. It is becoming an obsession for both the daughter and me. Hopefully, we can push through and get it done. Of course, by the time I finished the lawn, I was exhausted even though it was early. I sat down to relax, put some ambient music on YouTube, and worked with my texture maps in Photoshop. And that was the end of the day.

Let's do this...

Once the sun came up, it was time to hit the ground running. Or, in this case, hitting the ground digging. Willow and I spent most of the day preparing the plot for the pool. This pool is significantly larger than our previous pool, so it required quite a bit of excavation. We both attacked the project, and we did pretty well. We did not finish the complete plot, but we are damn close. After a couple more hours, I would say it will be time to put up the pool. We have to ensure that it is leveled adequately because this many gallons can put quite a bit of pressure on the pool's walls. By the end of the day, we were exhausted, and Laura made excellent special hamburgers for dinner. I even stayed up a little later than intended to relax my muscles. I will probably face muscle cramps in the morning, but I think it is well worth it.

I think that she wants a pool...

The weather outside was frightful. Not really, but it was raining. Because of that, I could not get up the energy to go out and work on leveling the pool area. Willow, however, was not as put off by the rain as I was, and she was out playing in the mud for a large portion of the day. She did an excellent job handling the final leveling that faces the house. She even dug around the conduit so I could get that reburied below the pool line. I am beginning to think that she wants this pool. I have to scoot around and check the hardware stores for a tarp underneath the pool. Everything I've seen and read about says that you must use either a tarp or sand to protect the bottom of the pool. One of those spiky seeds was underneath the liner the last time we had an installation. It never poked through, but it could have easily. We are getting there.

Since it was raining, I was working on indoor projects. I started my next artwork round, and it should be ready before the new month. But to be honest, it is beginning to get boring. I need to switch to another hobby for a while. I finished updating my 3D software, double-checked the job boards, cleaned the car so that Laura could use it today, and worked on my writing. All things come in time, but sometimes that time does not move quickly enough, which is ironic when you look at the date and realize that we are almost half of a year into 2025. It seems there was sanity in the world only yesterday, and now we've been crazy for half a year. Go figure.

Starting out tired...

I am starting this week very tired, which is not good. I took some time out of work today to look for a pool tarp for the bottom of the pool, and I had no luck. I checked multiple hardware stores, and everything they have is either too small, too big, or too expensive. It is very frustrating. But I got home and had an excellent dinner and got into bed nice and early to see if I can gain the reins on this wild horse that is a week.

The world is leaning toward artificial intelligence. Thus far, I have resisted the use of such tools except to do things like change backgrounds. After listening to a news story about some advances in artificial intelligence, I gave one of them a try. In this piece of artwork, the model herself is a true AI image. She does not exist in the real world. I created her in a 3D space, and manipulate her into a position like I would a photographic model. I then used Photoshop to add the highlights and the sparkles. I can see the advantage of using AI for some things, but I think it is very important for creators to limit what they do within the virtual world. It is too easy to get lazy.

Good days and bad days...

I am going to count today at work as a good day and a positive experience. I arrived back at home exactly when I wanted to and went right for food. I wanted to go out and work on the pool some more but the rain made quite the mess and we are going to have to wait until things dry out. We have the new pool tarp, and that will help with the leveling and make a good base underneath the pole. I am estimating about 6 more hours and we should be able to start putting the pool up and getting it filled. Since I could not work outside, I relaxed and worked on some indoor projects. I did the artificial intelligence artwork, and I am on the fence about it. I like the way that it came out, but I don't have nearly as much control and I do not see it as my original.

While I was at work today I met a man from Baptist hospital systems and if he was not messing with me, he is the chief information officer or the chief operating officer or something along those lines. He was telling me about the ongoing project of bringing 24 systems together into a single information database system and how he needs 5 different people to do it. I have all five of the skills and he stayed in an interest in bringing me on board. I do not know how serious he is but I did give him my information and he said that he would contact me within a day. In my meditations, Lilith has said that something is coming. At first I thought it might be the pool. But now I am hoping that it is this. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the ride share, but it is beginning to fray me around the edges. I am very far from hitting the wall, but I can see it in the distance.

I finished all of that, it was pretty much time for bed, but I stayed up an extra half an hour to transfer the first season of Doctor Who to a USB drive for Willow. I think that she will like the series, and we shall see how that goes. I wanted to get it done this evening, because I do not know what the rest of the week brings.

Feeling it...

I am feeling it this week, and it does not feel good. Each day, I wake up a little more tired, regardless of how much sleep I get. I was up and in motion early, but I was dragging for most of the day, even though I was quite distracted by the quality and quantity of the rides. I was planning on heading home for lunch today, but those plans got waylaid because I was 70 miles from home. So I stopped and got Subway for the first time in a while. Boy, have they gone downhill. But that's happening with everything. I ran my timer out and headed home, where I sat like a bump on a log for most of the afternoon before going to bed.

Some of you may find these images disturbing, but I am in a mood. These are works that I created last year, and I pulled them into the editor this evening.

The downhill glide...

The week is almost over, and I cannot wait for it to be done. When I got home, I checked my tally for the week, and as I suspected, I am well ahead. I only have to make about $45.00 tomorrow, and then I can switch to Lyft. That will be very nice. What will be nicer is if the Spark is finished and we can pick that up after dropping off the rental car. I am not holding my breath because they have been dragging their feet on repairing that thing. When I got home this afternoon, I ate a nice big dinner, finished these two pieces of artwork, and relaxed in preparation for tomorrow. I am very much hoping that I can end this week with a bang. If we can get the spark and I can make some extra money for the slush fund, it will be all the better. In meditation, Lilith told me that something is coming. I have no idea what that is, but I am hopeful. One more day to go, and with a bit of luck, we will get the pool up this weekend.

Taking advantage, and OUCH...

OK, I can do this. It has been an excellent week, and things did not go as planned today. The ride-share application did not come back online after 3 o'clock. However, by then, the universe was in motion. I used my pent-up energy and frustration to attack the area for the pool. It still required quite a bit of leveling, and I knocked it out of the park. Unfortunately, I may have pushed a little too hard because I was having trouble even sitting down without getting cramps in my toes and back. It sucks to get old.

On a negative note, I am not the only one living on this planet. My unscheduled home time had a negative effect on the household because it threw things into disarray. I hate it when that happens. Lately, I have been very susceptible to those around me. More so, I am very, very susceptible to those within my scope of influence and those that influence me. When the family is unhappy, even if they are putting on a good face, I get sad. And that becomes a slippery slope.

The next annoyance was the car. The Chevy dealership has had Laura's spark for two weeks as of today. We did get a call early in the afternoon from the service manager, and they are pretty sure that the car is done, but the technician who needs to sign off on it was off today and will not be back until Tuesday because of the Monday holiday. We did get the rental car returned, and Laura can make do by using either my car or Willow's car, but that is not the point. I am not really impressed by this dealership and its capabilities. And Laura finds it quite frustrating as well. I will go to the dealership tomorrow morning and talk with Jason and let him know that we must have the car back by 9:00 AM on Tuesday morning. Anything other than that will be unacceptable.

We cannot have all these negative impressions without a positive note. I pushed my mind and body to the limits and did my best to get the pool area leveled. I put down the tarp after Willow got home and tested the area. There were still a few high and low spots, and we knocked those out between the two of us. I was pushing my body, but we got it done. Then it was time to push the limits. The entire family went out and got the pool set up. The pump was a bit of a hassle, but we now have an 18-foot round, 4 foot deep pool filling up. I ate dinner very late, and I was exhausted by the time I got into bed, almost 3 hours behind my schedule. Today was annoying, but I'm going to count it as a positive day.

I do have one conundrum. A few weeks ago, I adjusted my schedule so that I could have my weekends off. I did this for my mental health as well as my physical health. Because of this snafu today, I am down a shift of Lyft, and that does not put any money in the Kitty. There are things that I want, but I cannot get them until I meet the requirements that I set for myself. I am exhausted, but I feel that I should work this weekend. I also know that if I do work this weekend, next week will be horrendous. I am not as young as I used to be, and I am starting to feel it. I will have to make that decision in the morning and live with it. And I know that either decision that I make is wrong. But this is a part of life.

There are times when it is okay to let the mind wander. And this is one of those days. The basic EVE model with some serious filtering and modifications.

Da mood boss, Da mood...

In case you did not realize it, the heading for this paragraph is Tattoo from Fantasy Island. I have not thought about that show in a very long time. It used to be one of the high points of my young life. When I was very young, it was Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, and Love American Style. I was even going to grow up and fantasize about taking Lauren Tewes (Julie from the Love Boat) to Fantasy Island for a pleasant, week-long affair. We could even take Jill Whelan (Vicky Stubing) with us and pretend we were a family. Yeah, I had some sick fantasies when I was young. I was about 12 years old when I started watching that junk, and already had a bit of a vivid imagination. After all, Jill was closer to my age than Lauren. ROFL.

The most significant obstacle to my day today was my mood. I hit the ground running in a negative mental space, and I never completely recovered for the day. I do credit the environment for this because it was thunderstorming first thing in the morning, and Gray and overcast for a large portion of the day. That always puts me in a negative headspace, but more so today because I have to get the backyard cleaned up and I was unable to do so. It does not help that I was not feeling well either, but that is mostly muscular, and I can put that off to the work I did yesterday. Hopefully, everything will be better tomorrow and I will get a few things done and feel better about everything.

Because I was stuck indoors, aside from a few errands, I worked on cleaning up my work area, I'm working on some of my older artwork, and my novel. I did take the time to run up to Chevy and talk to Jason, and the car will be done by 9:00 AM on Tuesday. Because I was out and about, I took the recycling to the drop point even though it was pouring rain. I finished my escapades by stopping at Walmart and picking up a few things. In the afternoon, the ladies took the boxes up to Goodwill, and that had an interesting effect. I had not realized how much the clutter around the house was getting on my nerves. With the goodwill boxes removed and the recycling processed, OK everything seems much cleaner. Of course, you can never get something very good without something bad, and now I am noticing the other things that need to be cleaned. But that is a problem for another time.

Each weekend, I set a project up for myself and do my best to complete it. The project for this weekend was to level the area for the pool so that I could set it up next weekend, and then that project would be complete. Thanks to my wife and daughter's assistance, the entire project is complete. The pad is level, the pool is up, and it is even filled. The only remaining thing is to turn on the pump and set the chlorine system. I will make a point of doing that tomorrow, rain or shine. I do need to come up with a solution for the electrical system, but for now, I can use an extension cord. I might have to run a conduit to the pump.

Working in the rain...

It was a bit of a rough day today. I still have a lot that has to be done outside, but the rain persists. And it got pretty heavy at times. Unfortunately, the things that I had to do could not wait, so I wound up outside in the rain for about 3 hours tightening up the connections on the pool and getting the filter running. As long as I was doing that, I cleaned up the yard. Then it was off to drying off and sitting on my bum for the day. I think the rain sucked the energy out of me. So I watched the new Doctor who, and worked on the rest of my list.

Not terrific...

The personal side of the day today was not terrific. I woke up in a horrible mood because I think that I was interrupted in a sleep cycle by a thunderstorm. I never quite recovered from that, and it made it very difficult to get through the day without snapping. But I pushed through and gritted my teeth and did my best. It was very Gray and overcast all day, and I stopped and used some of my cash tips to buy myself some nails to try and get myself out of this mood. It did not work. But I got home, watched Doctor Who, and ate dinner before bed. I believe that the weather is causing this mood. At least I hope that it is. Tomorrow, we go to the Chevy dealer and pick up the Spark, and maybe that will get things back into alignment a little bit.

Running in mud...

The personal side of life right now is like running in mud. I was able to complete a couple of paragraphs of the novel this morning before heading to work, and then I had some personal matters to attend to during the workday. I came home, took care of those tasks, and then finished out the workday before coming home to some weighty meditation and dinner. Unfortunately, the meditation threw my entire life into chaos because I did not realize how long I had been meditating. By the time I came out, it was time for bed and that means that I did not get any of my evening routine taken care of. I didn't even set up my morning routine, which is a bit of a problem because it's going to throw tomorrow off. I need to take a step back somehow and relax. I feel like I'm headed toward a stressor point, and that is never a good thing. Tomorrow, I have to head home first thing in the morning after the sun comes up and take the Spark to get tires. I also want to see what they are talking about with the hesitation of the engine after the new transmission was installed.

Oh look, an annoyance...

OK, the personal stuff that I had to take care of was with Firestone. I had to get new tires for Laura's car and normally, that would be simple. You pull into the mechanic, they pull you into a Bay, they change your tires and you are in and out in about 30 minutes. But this is the second time there has been a significant delay at this Firestone because of the tires. They told me that they had to order the tires, but what they did not tell me is that they were on the incoming tractor trailer. It took 3 1/2 hours to get 2 tires. When I took my Kia in last month, it took six hours for one tire. They have really gone downhill when it comes to their service. I think that part of the problem is that they are seriously understaffed. I was trying to keep track of how many mechanics there were and it looks like there are only two operating 7 bays. I've checked their recent reviews and they seem to be going downhill.

So, I was able to get the tires taken care of but that blew the hell out of the work day. I ate my lunch and watched a show and then headed off to bed so that I could double back. The fact that it was unplanned and I was not prepared for it is part of a problem period the other part is that I am not a spring chicken anymore and I cannot double back like that. It adjusted my mood to the negative side, and I got grumpy as hell. This is not going to bode well for the world around me. I am running behind financially, I have a lot of crap on my list to do, and no time to do it. I'm going to have to take it 1 little chunk at a time and see what I can do with it. I have not been able to get to the gym in more than a week, and I have not been able to buy myself something fun for more than a month. All of these things combined are making me very grumpy. I have not even been able to plant my sunflowers, jalapenos, or cantaloupes. And those have been sitting on my desk for more than a month.

Try try...

There is very little going on in my personal life right now because I am in double-back mode. It is almost like I am back on the truck in that I go to work, I come home, and sleep, and then repeat. I barely have time to do email or keep up with the day-to-day activities. The good thing is that there is only one day left after today and the week is over. That being said, I have to work three shifts in 2 days, and I am tired.

Sit, and sit some more...

By the time I got off, I did not have two brain cells to rub together. I ate a decent dinner and watched a little bit of Stargate and then headed off to bed. With a little bit of luck, tomorrow being Saturday, I will be able to knock out at least some of my list. I would love to say that I'm going to knock it all out, but I don't think that's going to happen. There is too much on it, and many of them are large items. On the positive side of the scale, Willow mowed the front yard, and that takes one thing off that list. I very much appreciate her help. That is one less thing I have to do this weekend, even though I do have to knock out the backyard and probably move the climbing wall, which is going to be quite an endeavor.

Some well needed personal time...

When I say personal time, I do not mean that I spent my time doing nothing and in a closet contemplating the universe. I took care of the hoses that have needed to be repaired for weeks, I took care of the pool and got it balanced chemically, I took care of the rest of the front yard, including edging and weed whacking, and I took care of the entire backyard. It made me sore and tired, but it felt good to get some things taken care of. I even had some personal time with the family, and enough time to relax by the end of the day.

The only bad part of today was that I tried to jump in the pool, and because of my muscle cramps, I could not get past my thighs. The water was just too cold for me to plunge into. Maybe tomorrow. I still have a considerable number of things on my list for tomorrow, and some of them are very time-consuming or require a lot of physical strength. I'm not sure how that's going to work out, and we shall see how I feel in the morning.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new month and a new week, or at least the start of the latest week. I have completed my five images for the month, but I now have to choose from seven. I'm reasonably sure that I know which ones I'm going to get rid of because they are inappropriate. I try very hard not to be political in my monthly images, although I will occasionally delve into that topic during the month when the current administration does something ridiculous. The second image that I am thinking of deleting, or at least not posting publicly, shows a bare breast. I try not to go blue. Those, I will reserve for my private collection.

Willow and Laura went to the vegan festival, and they got to walk around IKEA. The vegan festival was not all that, but sometimes those things are touch and go. There is a monsterfest coming to Memphis, but I am not sure when that is, even though I think it is sometime this coming month. So far, I have not seen any interesting participants. I know that Renee O'Connor and Traci Lords are supposed to be at the North Carolina convention, but it's not worth the price of admission, which is extremely high. I will keep an eye on the Memphis event and see if anything develops.

June is here, check it out and let's trip the light fantastic! Pop on over to June 2025