An open book journey of Christopher William Klein
Here we have 3 images that will set the tone for the month. Look specifically at the mood.
Greetings: An update on the previous month: May was a rough month with quite a few hurdles to leap over. But I made it through the month. The most significant accomplishment was getting the covers and descriptions to all my books up. That is exciting.
The new month is here. Click here for July 2024
Jump to the Current Post..the ultimate enemy.
I wish that I could push work to the back of my mind during the weekend, but that does not seem to happen. I just can't let it go and that is something that I must work on.
I Truly wanted to get a lot done this weekend, But that is not going to happen. There is an overpowering Gray cloud in the area. I mean that both literally and metaphorically. There were some serious thunderstorms and that made it so I cannot do the lawn this weekend. It is never going to dry out. And then there is the over shadow of Rowan heading for Japan. That has everybody in a precarious mood. So I spent most of the day in the garage cleaning up and getting things together. Not an extremely productive day, but it was still a day.
..put them on.
I Managed to do just a little bit of prep work and then put work to the side for the day. I have a few things that I could do here from the house, but i don't want to and so i didn't.
This is the day that Rowan left for Japan. I was pensive first thing in the morning so I was up early and he was up right on time. He gathered his stuff and I drove him to the airport and he is on his way to Tokyo to start his next adventure. I hope that he enjoys it. Of course, that did set the mood for the day and I chose just to let it go and sit on the floor in the garage rolling movies and playing with my plants.
..out late.
Today was not a terrible day for a Monday, even though it was a little annoying. I was the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. When 5:00 rolls around, everybody scampers like cockroaches when you turn on the light. But that is to be expected. I am pretty sure there is some insidious game that tosses something to me at 4:30 in the afternoon that will take at least an hour every day. But that's only because it seems to be a trend. Everything but a single driver is in line and rolling correctly. This one driver, though, is a problem.
As this is Monday, it was a slow start to the week. I was up in plenty of time, but I had no drive and that is never a good thing. I floated through the day and by the time I got home it was time to eat and go to sleep. This is a short week for me because I have Friday off and I am very much looking forward to it.
..the grind.
One of the most significant problems that I have with work is the technology. I've mentioned it before, but when you intermingle several different programs written in different languages, it is bound to cause a problem. And when you are working in a professional environment and you constantly have to jiggle the handle, so to speak, to get things working correctly, that is a problem. I am at work for 10 hours a day, and 30 minutes of that day is taken up by a meeting that does not have to happen because it is nothing more than pointing out the flaws of the team to each other. This is the business equivalent of fat shaming, and it should not take place when we are supposed to be in a team environment instead of a competitive environment. But this is the model they've chosen. So, for the rest of the time, I should be able to do my job, answer calls, and take care of my drivers. But there seems to be an epidemic of things that are getting stuck in the system. These processes should work automatically, but they don't. I get to spend between two and three hours fixing computer problems, which is not in my job description or my pay grade. The sad thing, there is no noticeable pattern of how the errors are occurring. So it makes it very difficult for the information technology department to track them down.
Another day of frustration and no time for myself. I overslept this morning and had less than an hour to get ready for work and do my morning routine. By the time I got home I was completely exhausted and ready for bed almost immediately. I forced myself to stay up, but I did not get anything done.
..forward.
Even though the day was decent when it came to workload, I could not get into the swing of things. My negative mood is affecting my work mood, and my work mood is affecting my negative mood. It is a vicious little circle. It does not help that my problem driver continues to harp, every day, on something that he feels he is owed, which I have proven he is not. But that does not stop him from going to everybody in the company that he can find and demanding payment for this. I have done everything that I can, but there is no resolution. Looking back through his entire account, I see that he does this periodically, and he just continues to harp on a single situation, over and over again, until somebody gives in. He is the least productive of my drivers, and he has taken home the most unearned capital of any driver. I am not going to give in to him with one possible exception. I will pay him the $400.00 that he wants on the condition that he immediately issues his resignation at which point I will put him down as a no rehire. And he can go away. I am attempting to pull him into Memphis for a face-to-face meeting at this point. So far, he is evasive. He may know what is coming.
I am in a seriously negative place in my mind right now. Sometimes I will wake up in a negative mood because of my dreams or the way I slept, but I can usually shake it off. That was not the case today. Meditation, yoga, and self-reflection- none of them did any good. I tried to fire up my graphics software to release a little of the negativity into a creative bubble, and it did not help. I fired up one of my stories and did the same. It did not help. I slept an extra three hours this morning and got up just in time to be able to eat and make it out the door for work. This was not a good day, and when I got home, I was still in the mood that I left the house in the morning. Thankfully, I only have one more day of work, and then I have a three-day weekend. I am working on putting together a strategic plan for the three days with something intense on Friday. I have already chosen to give a significant portion of time to Lilith just because I have not done so in a very long time. I want to get my exercise machines cleaned up and oiled and in play, and I want to get my creative area set up so that I can start working on random projects. I even have a few in mind. But they are a secret for now.
..slow and steady.
Today was a mock Friday for me because I am off tomorrow. I spent the entire day pushing to get things cleared up so that I had a clean handoff at the end of the day and there was nothing sitting that anyone would have to deal with tomorrow. I seriously doubt that is the condition I will come back to it in, but at least I did the right thing. Even though it was extremely hectic, I think it was a pretty good day as days go. So I will take it.
Today I let my mind wander at the end of the day, and this is what came out.
Pushing through life day-to-day has become mundane. But that could easily be my mood instead of the actual situation of life. With a little bit of luck, I will find out tomorrow when I do my triple meditation. I am hoping that it is helpful. I cannot continue to ride this level of negative emotion for any length of time, regardless of the cause. I channeled some of the creative energy into Photoshop today and created the random drawing above. It holds no significance, and there is nothing behind it. Something new and different.
..What a rush.
I put all the work out of my mind for the day, which was terrific. I did not think twice about anything that might be going on. I doubt I will be able to do that through the weekend, but for today, I will pat myself on the back.
There were two phases to today. A personal phase and a get stuff done phase. Getting stuff done was taking care of the front yard. It does not sound like a lot, but it was two weeks' worth of growth, and I blew the breaker on the electric mower three or four times. Whenever that happens, you have to shut down for about 10 minutes and then repower the mower. That was a lot of fun, but I got it done in the end. The personal phase was more intimate. I have been floundering for quite a while. I would say that my mental state has degraded since January. I have gotten away from some things that kept me on an even keel. Sadly, I did not notice this. It was just little things like using my lists to get things done. I used to have a daily list, a weekly list, a monthly list, and long-term goals. Lives have all gone the way of the dodo. But starting tomorrow, I am going to resurrect them. I think that it is an essential part of my positive well-being. It took three complete meditations, adequately directed, to see the flaw that had snuck into my life. I have been in such a negative mood with the world around me lately that I have not even seen it. But by the end of the day, I was happy. And I am hoping that that will continue.
..Part two.
This is my second day off of three, and my work today consisted of reflection on the previous week and looking forward to next week. I am hoping that my shift in my emotional state will help going forward.
Here come the changes, like an upward-reaching lightening bolt, aimed at the heavens.
This is not the continuation of a franchise like Star Wars. This is just me sitting back and reflecting and then moving on. I am a frog. No, I have not become an amphibian, but I share some traits with our hopping friends. If you take a frog and put it in cold water and then slowly heat that water to a boiling point, the frog will adjust until the fact that it dies. And it will never notice that anything is wrong. I have very much been in the same position. Changes came along gradually, and I did not see them until I turned around and looked. Thankfully, I did not cook in my juices, but it was still not a good turn of events. I have to get back to structure. I have forgotten things. I wondered why I was no longer getting mail on ancient pathway. Or triumph media. I thought that I had lost popularity, which is very common in the world of today. But the answer is more insidious. About three months ago, I shut down those sites, and they were to be redirected to the new site, which would house the original information, slowly rebuilt from the original plan. Everything would have been good, assuming that I had forwarded those two website addresses. Because I stopped using my lists, I completely forgot about them. And since the e-mail addresses were connected to the accounts, all of the people who were trying to tell me there was a problem never got an answer. The only people who know are those that follow this blog. And that is about 10% of my followers.
That is only one minuscule fragment of the multitude of things that have tragically unraveled before my very eyes. I can still feel the sharp sting of regret piercing through my heart. I have been dancing on a tightrope of avoidance, masking the true problems like a skilled illusionist. A fierce battle rages within me, torn between the safety of the background and the burning desire to break free. I have allowed myself to become a ghost, a mere echo of who I truly am, but no more, or I am going to be the above-mentioned proverbial frog. Time is slipping through my fingers like sand, and if I continue down this path, I will be forever lost. In short, I will fade into the background and into obscurity. Some people are happy living in the background, for me, not so much. Every step I take towards obscurity feels like a dagger to my self-worth, slowly shattering my spirit. With unwavering determination, I will dismantle the facade I have created and confront the true issues head-on because I believe the foundation is good. In the midst of the darkness, a glimmer of hope flickers within me, whispering that I have the power to transform my narrative.
..back.
The final day before I return to work and I sat down and mapped out a rudimentary schedule for what I need to do tomorrow, and then I put it to the side. There is a chance that the crew handled my drivers well. But I am not going to count on that, and I'm going to take the negative assumption. I will assume that they did not take care of them properly, and I'm going to have to clean up the mess tomorrow. If I am wrong with that assumption, then so be it, and I will take the calm reaction of my fleet. Of course, I judge them because of how they care for their fleets, because it is basic psychology. Often, you will take care of something loaned to you better than you would take care of your own property. I am sure that there is some theory around that. But it is not significant enough for me to look up.
After my significant meditation this weekend, I took a good, self-reflective view of myself. No midlife crisis, no suicidal thoughts, no feelings of darkness and despair. Not bad for an old man. It just requires some minor tweaking of my day-to-day life. And that started today. I am now more goal-oriented than I used to be. I have started to rebuild my lists, even though they're minimal. But they will grow with time. I was able to finish the sideyard, and I was able to do my nails. I'm going with a lemon yellow this week, so that should mess with some people's heads. I got my final Amazon order, and I now have acrylics and gels for fun. I picked the strangest things to get obsessed over. However, I also set up my arts and crafts area and chose my first project. But I'm not telling anybody about that until I complete it because it is ambitious, and I am not sure I can do it. I will say that it contains wood and metal. And I will leave it at that. While I was cleaning up the garage and setting up my areas; I rolled movies in the background, and all is well. I went to bed nice and early because tomorrow I want to try a lateral meditation, which means that we'll be getting out of bed late so that the morning will be enjoyable.
..cometh.
I have made it back to Monday, and I had severe cleanup from being off on Friday, but it was not nearly as bad as I thought. It took all day to do the cleanup, but that was because I was being quite thorough, and I believe everything is caught up. I rolled through the day with a few issues, but it was exhausting.
I am working from my new set of lists and on my new routines. For now, they are tiny, but they will grow with time. I did not have a lot of extra time to get anything done, so it was pretty much that I got out of bed, rolled into work, rolled home, and then went to bed. I don't particularly appreciate that this is my weekly routine Monday through Friday. I hope that things change soon.
..we go.
I am not sure there is anything like a textbook day where I am working, but if there is one, that would be today. Everything rolled through precisely as it was supposed to, and even with the minor issues, they were resolved quickly. Even the last-minute crisis at the end of the day was resolved before the end of business. Those things usually push into the evening. Not a horrible day.
I have been under the weather for a few days, but I feel much better today. I did not get up until late, but the new morning routine is helping me push through that. Work was tolerable, and I got home, made some burritos, and sat and stared into space for a while. It was not a great day; it was not a horrible day; it was just a day. Getting back into my routines is helping, but it is a slow process.
..and beyond.
I Pride myself on being able to maintain my emotional state in all situations. I have been doing this since 1989 and I have not lost my temper in that time. Until today. I was having a very good day before one of my drivers showed up for a face to face meeting and blew my control out of the water. I sat and listened to him ramble for almost 2 hours about how incompetent the company is and me specifically. I held my tongue until the terminal leader gave in to him. At that point, I exploded, jumped up, and quit my job. The man is insufferable. He believes that he needs to be paid for existing even though he contributes almost nothing to the business. He does what he wants, when he wants, and then demands to be paid for it. In four months he has gotten $3200 worth of unearned payment, and is just demanding more. I had enough. He left, and the terminal leader talked me into staying, at least for now. But this experience ruined my day, my week, my month, and my entire experience with the company. I have 34 drivers and only one of them thinks that I do not know how to do my job.
I was up and about in plenty of time and feeling pretty good about the day until the above mentioned experience. It completely ruined my day, made me question myself worth, made me lose my temper, and created an all around negative experience. The man needs to go to hell.
..continued.
The downbeat mood carried into today, and I fought against it for most of the day. Mark is out until next week, and Sheila is carrying a site, but there is something up there as well. Workmen are working on the driver's lounge and the upstairs portion of the building, but no new jobs have been posted yet. I cannot get into the swing of things this week, but tomorrow is the last day before the weekend.
The new medication is kicking my ass, and i am just floating through life right now. The day-to-day grind of work is very taxing and it drags the life out of me before I get home. Even though I am getting up early, I have no drive to get anything done and that has to change.
..maybe?.
The ongoing saga with my irrepressible driver continued through the day. He fights me at every turn of the wheel on everything. He refuses to answer questions of necessity and makes demands that cannot be fulfilled. He wants exactly what he wants, and he will accept nothing else. It is incredibly frustrating. However, there was a shiny part of the day when the work crews showed up to work on the 2nd floor and the break room. They were at the building for the entire day, and they seemed to be making progress. What I find extremely interesting is that two of the workers were underage. This ties into some of the other things we have been thinking about, but I'm not going to go into that. The point is that there is progress. Nothing is posted on the job board yet, but it should be coming shortly with these modifications.
I was up extremely early this morning and did a pretty good job of getting balanced and centered before I went to work. I was drained because of the long day and an early start when I left work. I hit the house, ate a frozen pizza, and went to bed. Aren't I just a party animal? Tomorrow, I am holding a small yard sale, but that is a story for another day.
..and loving it.
Work today was just reviewing the past week and figuring out if there is anything that I could have done differently. I would like to say that there was, but based on the current attitude of the company, there is very little that I can control except for my reactions. My reactions are part of human nature, and there is little that I can do about them except try.
Today was a yard sale. I dragged a bunch of stuff out of the garage, put everything in the boxes in the driveway, and let people poke through it. We made about $200.00 and got rid of some massive stuff that took up room and was never used. It was a perfect use of four hours. Unfortunately, once we dragged everything back inside that did not sell, I was utterly exhausted from the heat. I spent the rest of the day writing and working on repacking the stuff that we can now send over as a donation. I cooked dinner and then called it an early night.
..and lethargy.
Since it is Sunday, I used the first part of the day to prep for work for the week starting tomorrow, and then I put it all behind me, not offering it a single thought after the morning preparations. This is the way it should be when I am at home.
I ended the weekend by sitting like a stump. The only real things that I did today were to continue cleaning the garage and setting up the stuff for donation. I also reached the grocery store and picked up food for the week for work. I tried a new bread machine recipe that is supposed to be a pizza loaf. It came out pretty well, even though it was quite heavy with pepperoni and cheese included in the bread. I need some sweet and sour shrimp to have as leftovers, and when Laura got off of work, she made fried chicken. I am counting this as a positive day even though I sat on my rear end for most of it. The heat was so oppressive, and I was already lethargic, so I did not get the lawn done. That is something I'm going to have to rectify very soon. I worked on my project area in the garage while rolling movies, I don't remember. As it gets hotter, I think I'm going to have to get a fan for the garage if I'm going to continue to spend time out there.
..to the game.
It is one thing to have suspicions, but it is another thing to have those suspicions verified. In my education, especially in business, I learned about a particular trap within some companies. This is the trap of the title. People are given titles, usually associated with excellent salaries, but they are given no real power or responsibility. I believe that my company is in this trap. We have a lot of people that do nothing but attend meetings. They have little or no power to change, which is a trap. If the company would sit back and listen, they would realize that certain aspects of the company are highly inefficient. It is a running, inside joke with some of these different things. But the joke is not funny. There are nearly 100 driver leaders, and I waste more than two hours daily on these inefficient activities. I watched those around me, and they did the same thing. If you calculate the situation, that is 200 wasted hours a day on average. I spoke to one of the regional vice presidents about some of the inefficient tasks. He admits they are aware of them; they just have not become a priority. I think that 200 hours a day should be a priority. But I don't own the company.
I am rocking what is supposed to be emerald green on my nails today, but it is quite pale to be called emerald. It is almost like a teal color. It doesn't matter what the bottle said. But that buckle is gone now so it will not matter in the future. We are back to the grind of the week, and I got up with plenty of time to do my morning routine, worked through the day, and then came home to watch my show and go to sleep. I am such a party animal.
..oh the drudge.
The entire day was ultimately off today. I was not spinning my wheels, but at the same time, I was not making any headway. They posted new jobs on the job board, but they are all from Chattanooga and I am not sure that they are the Memphis jobs. I applied for one as a logistics account manager, and we shall see what happens. I am getting frustrated at the dichotomy and negative influence of management. We are told that we should work with our planners to keep our drivers running. However, if we approach our planners, they explain to us that they have criteria that they must follow, and contacting them will not change that criteria. It becomes very frustrating when we add to that the frustration of the terminal transfer interface and the need to manually enter more than 1/4 of the entries done by the trucks. A communication requirement cannot be met unless you are patronizing. And we are told not to be patronizing. Speaking against some of these problems falls on deaf ears, which is never helpful. The most hilarious thing is that this company does everything I was warned not to do in college when earning my business degree. It's almost as if they took the don't list and turned it into a goal list.
I began to slip into a negative mood today, and just for a bit of foreshadowing into tomorrow, this is an artistic personification of the mood that crept up on me late in the day today and into tomorrow. Not a pretty sight, is it?
I am getting very tired of not having any personal time at all during the week. I get up early in the morning, but it takes hours to get myself focused for the day. I am too tired to do anything when I get off in the evening. I could roll out one piece of artwork, but it is based on something I did last year that was unfinished. I was supposed to go to dinner with the people from work, but that did not happen for reasons that I will keep to myself. What a world we live in.
..and some vey.
We were two people down with no coverage and a heavy workload all day today. I fully believe that the levy is about to break, but I am not sure what direction the water will flow. Things are quickly coming to a head, and it is difficult to predict the way things will fall. The only thing that we can predict is that they are going to fall. There was a steady stream of calls, but I was able to stay ahead of everything, and I got most of my stuff done.
If you did not do the title in the voice of Tattoo from Fantasy Island, then I have no idea why you are following this page. Just kidding. I thought that it was funny. Today was an extremely negative day, and I was in an extremely negative mood. That led to negative thoughts and negative feelings. And I will say the word negative 1 more time, to make sure that there is enough emphasis on the word. I am tired, aggravated, frustrated, and unfulfilled in multiple aspects of life right now. It is getting on my nerves. I am doing my best to counteract it, but I am not sure I'm winning this battle. I did come home this evening and put in about ten applications. From my meditation over the weekend, I learned that from my own perspective, I may be underrating myself. So, I have expanded my job search, and it opened hundreds of potential jobs. Saturday morning, I am going to scour the past 30 days of the five major job sites, grab myself by the nads, and do some heavy submitting before I do the lawn. Hopefully, that will be productive and help with my mood.
..what an interesting thought.
I have no idea why the first thought in my mind when I think of work is the story of the Wellerman. If you listen to the story, it is a story of vengeance and very closely resembles the story of Moby Dick. That cursed crew follows an insane captain in his quest against the whale, with the only thing that keeps them sane being the arrival of the Wellerman. It would come and bring them sugar, tea, and rum. I could use a good cup of tea, but I cannot do the sugar. And, of course, I do not have any good rum or Brandy, for that matter. One of these weeks, I will correct that problem. But I digress. There were two people out, and we were scrambling all day to cover them. We were supposed to have external coverage, but there wasn't, so we had to keep the boat afloat.
I have no idea why I am fixated on sugar, tea, and rum. But here we go.
Here we are, bearing down at the end of the week, and I cannot wait to get there. I looked around my work area this morning and am so close to getting ready to do my fun stuff. I have gathered my things, and I am cleaning my area, and I am just hours away from doing things that I hope will make me happy. That would be very nice. Today, I pushed through the day, grinding my teeth for the entire day at work. I can see the problems, but I don't have any power to do anything about them. In an ironic twist of fate that may change quickly, that sense that was told to me in confidence will be a story for another time, assuming it comes to pass. I got out of work on time, and as soon as I hit the house and ate, it was time for bed - one more day to go.
..sometimes, that is all you can do.
We continue to run with people down. Today, it was 3 instead of two. But we rose to the challenge. The only problem is they continue to pile on the work. Metrics have been brought to our attention, and we know who is not working now. It is being addressed, but I don't think it's going to do any good. People are already set in their ways. There are those that float and those that rise, there are those that fight, but the fight is quickly being taken away from them. It is going to be interesting to watch the developments, assuming that nothing better comes along.
The week has been amazingly frustrating. There is something going on and it is something that I am missing at work. But to be honest, I am ignoring a few things said that is to be expected. But between not sleeping well, getting up early, and drudging through my day, the week has left me exhausted. I am looking forward to the weekend. I want to go fishing, get the lawn done, and get the rest of the garage set up. I'm not sure exactly what we'll get done, but that's what I would like to see.
..that is a thing.
What exactly is personal work in the context of this blog? Personal work is when I take a step back from my current position and I look at other opportunities. It is something that I do on a very small scale pretty much every day. Today, I went on a large scale. I have started updating my resume on every job site and reactivated the artificial intelligence that will be submitted each time I log in. It is time to move on if I can find something acceptable. I put in 25 applications today, and 20 were rejected before I went to bed. This is the automated processor, and I have to do something about the white space in my resume. I will take care of that this coming week.
I pushed into the day with vigor. I finished up my workbench project before the sun broke the horizon. Laura reminded me to get my fishing license, so I am now all set for tomorrow except for the worms, which I will get tomorrow morning. Then it was onto the lawn. It has gotten so long that it was one hell of a process, but I was able to get the front yard done. I also got most of the backyard done, but I petered out. I am counting this as a very good day because there was family time, decent food, and not much stuff off my list. Granted, there is still a lot of other stuff on the list, but it is a start. Tomorrow morning, when the sun breaks, it is time to go fishing.
..not good.
Work is bothering me. It is intruding on my personal time and I wouldn't say I like that. Regardless of what I am doing, every once in a while, a thought will creep in that has absolutely nothing to do with what I am doing and everything to do with work. I have to work on getting that to stop.
I kicked ass today and yesterday. I was up plenty of time this morning and had all of my morning stuff done before sunrise. As the sun rose, I was out at the lake. It is only about 10 minutes from here and a lovely place to relax. I set up my rod and reel and I fished for a little while. A large trout, a small catfish, and two turtles. I released all of them without too much trauma. The trout probably would have been excellent, but I don't have a license for that. The catfish was too small, and the turtles would not have made good soup. But it was a relaxing experience, and that is what counts.
Then, it was time to go back to the house, eat breakfast, and take a nap to prepare for the second half of the day. And the second half of the day was brutal. I finished up the backyard mowing. That required a lot more stamina than I had available, but I was able to push it. I did not get around to the weed-whacking, but that can wait. While I was mowing, the groceries came, and it was inside to do some cooking. I made a double batch of red beans and rice. Some of that is for lunch this week, some are leftovers, and there are two packages in the freezer. I have started my freezer meals. But the cooking took longer than I anticipated and was later than I thought it would be when I was done. I cleaned up the kitchen and then it was time for some virtual reality. I tried the new game, The Gods of Gravity, and it is pretty good. I also tried another game that I do not remember the name of, end it sucked. Then, it was the end of the day.
..I will not finish that.
One of the greatest Banes of my existence over the past month has been a single driver. Somewhere down the line he felt that he was better than everybody around him and should be paid for existing. He ran the gambit of driver leaders and eventually landed on me. When he attempted to manipulate me and made the same demands that he made of the previous driver leaders, which included paying him for sitting when he chose not to run, it was the immovable object meeting the irresistible force. And it escalated into daily arguments. He would move the truck of his own accord for hundreds of miles. And then he would demand that we pay him for it. But today, I claim victory because, over the weekend, he resigned. We are supposed to fight to keep drivers, but that won't happen in this case.
On the lighter side, there is a significant problem in place. The leadership is enacting policy based on a partial reading of self-help and business acumen books. They continue to cherry-pick small ideas that are meant to be parts of more extensive plans. And while the ideas themselves are harmless, they're incredibly time-consuming and resource-consuming. When used in an ad hoc environment instead of as part of a larger business plan, they do muck up the work. The leadership does not understand why these brilliant ideas do not immediately bear fruit. But the analogy is perfect. You cannot plant a fruit tree on a rocky shore. It would be best if you prepared the land first. Without those preparations, it is fruitless. And yes, I realize the pun.
I'm not really happy with my nails right now. I went with a basic black one, but they did not look great. I know I am habitually changing them on the weekend, but I may make an exception this week. We shall see.
it is only Monday, and I am already very tired. I really enjoyed my time at the lake, even if it was only a few hours, and I need to think about making a habit out of that. I have gotten my meditation down to a decent routine, and I continue my yoga regimen, which keeps me going. I have my creative routine and have now set up my work area in the garage. I have pictures that I need to share, but I have to get them off the camera, which probably will not happen until this weekend. I continue my daily writing, but it is going very slowly. I continue to do my digital art at least three days a week, but I am working from scratch now because all the rough drawings I did for two years are complete. I'm going back over that class, one lesson at a time, but I am pretty sure I have it down now. It is time to move on to something else. But I will continue with the artwork in the background. I am working on something a little bit bold and risque right now. It will probably not be ready for a while.
..we go.
Book knowledge is a beautiful thing. Professional experience is a wonderful thing. The ability to apply either book knowledge or professional experience to any given situation is a beautiful thing. However, if you use either aspect of the business world without understanding the full context of the scenario, you are doomed to failure. And that is where we are right now. Leadership is attempting to cherry-pick small insights from big plans. This reminds me of the same thing the company did With its attempt to use specialized coaching techniques. They used the coaching techniques but did not use the rest of the program that created the model. The first line of the course, which is six weeks long, tells you exactly not to do this. It is counterproductive. But they do it anyway and condense the program into a 2-day course. I don't understand.
Is it Friday yet? Unfortunately, I can answer my own question and recognize that it is only Tuesday. That does not stop me from wishing that it was Friday. But if wishes were horses. I will not continue with that train of thought. I'm in a world of mundane action, at least five days a week, because I get up in the morning, go to work, come home and sleep. And that is all there is to it. I had more freedom when I was driving a truck. But I'm not ready to go back to that either.
..a train?
The day started with a bang. And by a bang, I mean pretty literally because one of our drivers got hit by a train. I am not making light of this, because it could have been much worse. But he did not cross the tracks correctly and a locomotive took his tail end out. When your day starts out that way, and you are working three people down, there is little to say about the day.
I started the day very Moody, and it went downhill from there. I tried to push a significant amount of concentration to maintain a cheerful facade while carrying a negative burden. But I think I managed to do it most of the day. I needed extra meditation in the morning, so I did not get to do any of my writing. I cannot let that become a habit. In another month, I will have to scrape together the funds to self-publish, and I hope somebody will buy this rag. We shall see. But for the rest of the day, everything was calm while hectic. How is that for a conundrum? It was calm and nothing out of the ordinary happened other than the train incident, and it was hectic because everything was very rushed. By the time I got home, I was fatigued and famished. But I came home to a fish dish we had not had in a very long time. It was a perfect end to the day.
..can you?
We have almost arrived at the end of the week, but we are not quite there yet. We continue to work with at least two people down each day, and it is like treading water in a bog. Not only do you have to fight to keep your head above water, but you have to fight the added strain of everything around you. After today, there is only one day left before the end of the week, and I am physically and mentally fighting exhaustion. There have been no new job postings in the Memphis demographic from the company, and they are taking their sweet time doing the repairs. One or two people are coming in for one or two hours a day. I wonder if they think that we do not notice.
As we approach the weekend, I am fighting exhaustion, so I took the time today just to relax. I got out of bed later than I intended, and then I came home and slept. It may be a boring life, but at least it keeps me alive.
..Friday!
The day at work was calmer than usual, at least on the phone. By the end of the day, I got everything caught up, and I left the building on time, leaving nothing for the night shift to deal with. Assuming that we do, it will be good to have a whole staff back next week. So I will chalk this week up to a lesson in perseverance, and move on.
The week has ended, and it's time to prepare for relaxation. I was up early, but I used the extra time for meditation, and then I spent the day trying to clean up the messes at work. Mostly, I succeeded, and then I headed home for a quick meal and then bedtime. It may be a boring life, but it is my life. And the weekend is ahead.
..it is here!
The weekend is upon me, and my only work task today was updating my resume and preparing for tomorrow's onslaught of attacks on the job boards. I only spent about an hour updating the resume, putting work behind me for the day.
Working without the lessons is difficult. This image took almost a week, and I worked on it daily. This is the dark lady, part of what lives within me. She has her Counterpart of the dark man, but I have not given him a face yet. This is one of my writing tools.
I got through my morning routine without any problems and even finished the series I had been watching. I did a lot more work on the garage and am ready to start creating, whatever that means. I took a nap, and then we got out to get some grocery shopping done and went to dinner. We went to the LongHorn Steakhouse, and the food was excellent. It was expensive but well worth it. After dinner, we stopped at Hobby Lobby, and I picked up a model and a new canvas. I was initially going to get black gesso, but the canvas was the same price. I have an image in my head that is trying to claw its way out, and I will help it and see where that takes us. By the time we got home, it was time for bed.
..Here we go.
Last week was a horrible week. So, I dedicated one hour today to preparing an action plan for this coming week. I do not know how well it will go over, but I have a few points to address. Something is changing at the office, and I have no idea what it is. So, I think that I am prepared for whatever may come.
Today is the end of the month, and I forgot to prepare for the month of July so that things will be a little bit delayed in the blog. It was scorching today, so I spent most of the day inside setting up my work area. In the evening, we had to get Willow from the airport, and on the way to get her, I found a cobalt workbench on the curb. I told myself that if it was there, I would grab it when we returned. It was still there and now is in the garage, waiting for me to do something with it. I also let two boxes of DVDs sit on the curb. If they are still there in the morning, I will throw them in the car and do something with them. There were probably about 300 of them, which is a lot of money to waste. It was a lazy day, and I have come to terms with it.
The new month is here. Click here for July 2024